Post 634 ~ ~ ~ Monday, 5th October, 2009.
Hello again my friends ~~ I hope all is well with you all. I am OK and
still having callers and keeping busy. My friend, Mike did some jobs for
me, as he did last week. He is like another son and I cook some meals
for him when I do my cooking. We have just begun Daylight Saving
Time in about 4 states of Australia. Queensland do not have it. Mike
put all my clocks an hour ahead for me - the ones I can't reach. Today
I cooked a leg of lamb and lots of roast vegetables, green beans & corn.
Tomorrow is home care day for me and the latest girl will tidy things up
which will be nice. Fresh sheets on my bed - I look forward to.
My story tonight is called "The Cowboy Poem" and was sent to me by
my dear blogging friend Nancy. Thank you Nancy.
Jake, the rancher, went one day
To fix a distant fence.
The wind was cold and gusty. . . .
And the clouds rolled gray and dense.
As he pounded the last staples in,
And gathered tools to go,
The temperature had fallen . . .
The wind and snow began to blow.
When he finally reached his pick-up,
He felt a heavy heart.
From the sound of that ignition,
He knew it wouldn't start.
So Jake did what most of us
Would do if we had been there . . .
He humbly bowed his balding head
And sent aloft a prayer.
As he turned the key for the last time,
He softly cursed his luck,
They found him three days later,
Frozen stiff in that old truck.
Now Jake had been around in life,
And done his share of roaming,
But when he saw Heaven, he was shocked,
It looked just like Wyoming!
Of all the saints in Heaven,
His favorite was St. Peter.
So they sat and talked a minute or two,
Or maybe it was three.
Nobody was keeping score . . .
In Heaven, time is free.
"I've always heard," Jake said to Pete,
"That God will answer prayer,
But one time I asked for help,
Well He just plain wasn't there."
"Does God answer prayers of some,
And ignore the prayers of others?
That don't seem exactly square,
I know all men are brothers."
"Or does He randomly reply,
Without good rhyme or reason?
Maybe, it's the time of day,
The weather or the season."
"Now I ain't trying to act smart,
It's just the way I feel.
And I was wondering, could you tell me . . .
What the heck's the deal?"
Peter listened very patiently,
And, when Jake was done,
There were smiles of recognition,
And he said, "So, you're the one !"
"That day your truck, it wouldn't start,
And you sent your prayer a flying,
You gave us all a bad time,
With hundreds of us trying."
"A thousand angels rushed,
To check the status of your file.
But you know Jake, we hadn't heard
From you in quite a long while."
"And, though all prayers are answered,
And, God ain't got no quota,
He didn't recognize your voice,
And, started a truck in Minnesota !!"
BETTER KEEP IN TOUCH !!
First joke from my dear friend Gina. Thank you Gina.
I have called it "Quick thinking Kiwi."
A man in London walked into the produce section of his local Tesco's
supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working
in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce.
The man was insistent that the boy ask the manager about the matter.
Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, "some old
bloke wants to buy half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence
he turned around to find the man was standing right behind him, so he
quickly added, "and this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."
The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.
Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you
got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who can think
on their feet here. Where are you from son?"
"New Zealand, sir," the boy replied.
"Why did you leave New Zealand?" the manager asked.
The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and rugby players there."
"Is that right?" replied the manager. "My wife is from New Zealand."
"Really?" replied the boy, "Who'd she play for?"
One from my blogging friend, Embee. Thanks Mike, from the UK.
Better than a Flu Shot.
Miss Beatrice, The church organist was in her Eighties and had
never married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness
One afternoon the pastor came to call and she showed him into her
quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she made tea.
As he sat facing her old Hammond organ. The young minister noticed
a cute glass bowl sitting on top of it.
The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated of all things,
a condom. When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.
The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its
strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer
"Miss Beatrice," he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?"
He pointed to the bowl.
"Oh yes," she said, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park
a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The
directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would
prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all
One from my good friend Linda L. Thanks Linda. It is called
"When to start cussing."
A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. The 6 year
old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started cussing."
The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old continues,
"When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with
'hell' and you say something with 'a*s'
The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what
he wants for breakfast. he replies, "Aw hell Mom, I guess I'll have
WHACK ! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor
gets up and runs upstairs crying his eyes out with his mother in
hot pursuit, slapping his rear end with every step. She locks him in his
room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out."
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks
with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat a*s it won't
Another one from England. Thank you Sue and Bob.
A blonde gets home from shopping and hears strange noises coming
from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs only to find her husband
naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting.
"What's up?" she asks. "I think I am having a heart attack." cries
The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she is
dialling, her four year old son comes up and says, "Mommy, Mommy,
Auntie Shirley is hiding in your wardrobe and she's got no clothes on."
The blonde slams the phone down and storms back upstairs into the
bedroom, right past her husband, rips open the wardrobe door and
sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the floor.
"You rotten Bitch," she screams. "My husband's having a heart attack,
and you're running around naked playing hide and seek with the kids."
A couple more from Linda.
One day my housework challenged husband decided to wash his
Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted
to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?
"It depends. What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, 'OHIO STATE." And they say blondes are dumb.
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the
happiest woman in the world . ."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you......"
It's just too hot to wear clothes today." Jack says as he stepped
out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would
think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
Q. What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A. A rumur.
Just a few quotes to close with.
I know that God will not give me anything I can't handle.
I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~ ~ Mother Teresa.
I believe God is in me as the sun is in the color and fragrance
of a flower - - the light in my darkness, the voice in my silence.
~ ~ ~ Helen Keller.
God has made many doors opening into truth which He opens
to all who knock upon them with hands of Faith.~~Kahlil Gibran.
Faith is to believe what you do not see;
The reward of this faith is to see what you believe.
~ ~ ~ St.Augustine.
Without faith, nothing is possible.
With it, nothing is impossible. ~ ~ Mary McLeod Bethune.
There is nothing that wastes the body like worry and one who
has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about
anything whatsoever. ~ ~ Mahatma Gandhi.
Well, time to say Goodnight to you all. I hope the week will be a
really good one for all of us. Take great care of yourselves and
each other. My love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.
Post 634 ~ ~ ~ Monday, 5th October, 2009.