Post 650 ~ ~ Wednesday, 16th December, 2009.
Hello my Friends ~~ I hope you are all doing well as we near the
Christmas season and the end of the year. Life gets a bit hectic
at this time of year. In case I don't get back before then I wish
that you all have a wonderful Christmas and celebrate with family
and friends. And the happiest of New Years in 2010.
My daughter Kathy is coming up on Monday to take me back to
have Christmas with them as I have done for many many years.
She has even put handles in the shower and toilet to make life
easier for me. As far as I know her son Joh will bring me home as
he and his girlfriend live at Deniliquin which is north of Shepparton.
I know many of you have snow for Christmas, and we have the
reverse so have posted a picture of our wide brown land for you.
This was painted by a lady using her mouth. Some people are great
talents even with disabilities. Some of our eucalyptus trees, (gum) trees.
No need to tell you who these two are. Taken the day Peter left.
We both enjoyed his visits as you can see by our smiles.
Or maybe we were both happy he was leaving !!! I think not.
First item tonight is called "The Guy in the Glass" by Dale Wimbrow
and was written in 1934, the year I was born. Hope you enjoy it.
When you get what you want in your struggle for self,
And the world makes you King for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that guy has to say.
For it isn't your Father or Mother or Wife
Who judgment upon you must pass.
The feller whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the guy staring back from the glass.
He's the feller to please, never mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear up to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the guy in the glass is your friend.
You may be like Jack Horner and "chisel" a plum
And think you're a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye.
You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you've cheated the guy in the glass.
Next one is from my good friend Patty. Many thanks.
I just want to thank all of you for your educational e mails over
the past year. I am totally screwed up now with little chance of
I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper
towel, or have them put lemon slices in my ice tea without
worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.
I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what
the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie
I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine
what has happened on it since it was last washed.
I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving
because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one's
I MUST SEND A SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about
poop in the glue on envelopes because now I have to use a wet sponge
with every envelope that needs sealing.
ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels
looking out for me and St. Theresa's Novena has granted my every
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like
a water buffalo on a hot day.
THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered
if I forward an e mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within
BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because
it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer use Saran Wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can't boil a cup of water in the
microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face ... disfiguring
me for life.
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our
American troops or the Salvation Army.
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now
have their recipe..
If you don't send this e mail to at least 144,000 people in the next
70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5.00 pm
tomorrow afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back
causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it
happened to a friend of my nextdoor neighbor's ex mother-in-law's
second husband's cousin's beautician.
Oh, by the way.... A German scientist from Argentina, after lengthy
study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read
their e mail with their hand on the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off now. It's too late.
Donna was the organist for our wedding. She related a story to me
about a previous wedding in which she and her husband were
participating with her on organ and he singing.
During rehearsal the audio man at the church asked them to sing
and play so he could adjust the volumes They did not have the
wedding music with them, so they began to perform one of the
hymns they had practiced for church the previous week. . . .
"He Touched Me."
Just as they started, the preacher walked in and stopped, looking
very surprised. He had never ever heard that so chosen for a
The opening line of the hymn: :Shackled by a heavy burden. . ."
One from my good friend Robyn called "Is there any Hope for
the Future. . .? " Thanks Robyn.
Genuine answers from 16 year olds.
Q, Name the four seasons.
A. Salt, pepper,mustard and vinegar.
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made
safe to drink.
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A. Premature death.
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an
Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on stairs.
Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to the cow, instead of the bull.
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie.
Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A, Most people prevent contraception by wearing a acondominium.
Q. What is a seizure?
A, A Roman Emperor.
Q. Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head.
I will close tonight with a quote from Jay Leno, sent to me by Patty.
"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding,
severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to the
other, and with the threat of bird flu, swine flu and terrorists attacks,
are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the pledge of
For those that prefer to think that God is not watching over us, go
ahead and delete this. For the rest of us, pass this on.
Goodnight now, I am off to bed. Look after yourselves and each
other. Enjoy Christmas, and the holiday season. Love and best
wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.
Post 650 ~ ~ ~ Wednesday, 16th December, 2009.