Post 667 ~~ Saturday, 27th February, 2010.
Hello Dear Friends ~~ I am hoping your weather has warmed a little,
as we have had a few cooler days here, thank goodness. Our Autumn (Fall) begins
on 1st March which is next Monday, only a couple of days away. We are sure to
have more hot days, but hopefully no extreme days that knock us about.
I will start with a joke, my good friend Margaret sent me. Thank you.
It is called "The Perils of a Baptist Upbringing."
As I walked down the busy sidewalk with my wife, knowing I was late for
church, my eye fell upon one of those unfortunate, ragged vagabonds
that are found in every city these days. Some people turned to stare.
Others quickly looked away as if the sight would somehow contaminate
Recalling my old pastor, Brother Mike, who always admonished me to
'care for the sick, feed the hungry and clothe the naked.' I was moved
by some powerful inner urge to reach out to this unfortunate person.
Wearing what can only be described as rags, carrying her treasured
wordly possessions in two plastic bags, my heart was touched by this
Yes, where some people only saw rags, I saw a true hidden beauty.
A small voice within my head called out, "Reach out, reach out and
touch this person."
SO I DID.
So, I won't be at church this week !!
One from my good friend Patty. Many thanks for this one.
It is called "Why women are so Special."
Mum and Dad were watching TV when Mum said, "I'm tired and it's
getting late. I think I'll go to bed."
She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches.
Rinsed out the pop-corn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper
the following evening, checked out the cereal box levels, filled the sugar
container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot
for brewing the next morning.
She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes in the
washer, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button. She picked up the game
pieces left on the table , put the phone on the charger and put the phone
book back in the drawer.
She yawned and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by the desk and
wrote a note for the teacher, counted out some cash for the excursion and
pulled out a text bookfrom hiding under the chair. She signed a birthday
card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick
note for the grocery store. She put both near her bag.
Mum then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her Night Solution
and age fighting moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth.
Dad called out, "I thought you were going to bed."
"I'm on my way," she said, She put some water in the dog's dish and put
the cat outside., then made sure the doors were locked and the patio light
was on.. She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside
lamps and radios, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the hamper,
and had a brief conversation with the one still up doing homework.
In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day,
straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her 6 most
important things to do list. She said her prayers, and visualized the
accomplishments of her goals.
About that time Dad turned off the TV and announced to no-one in
particular that he was going to bed. And he did without another thought.
Anything extraordinary here? Wonder why women live longer..?
'CAUSE THEY ARE MADE FOR THE LONG HAUL...... (and they can't
die sooner, they still have things to do.)
God's own creation.
Another quiz, this time from my mate Warren. I did well on this one.
I was picky who I sent this to. It had to be those who might actually
might remember. This is a test for 'Old Kids'. Answers below.
Q. 1. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset,
the grateful citizens would ask "Who was that masked man?"
Invariably, someone would answer, "I don't know, but he left this behind.
What did he leave behind? .......................
Q. 2. When the Beatles first came to the U.S.. In early 1964, we all
watched them on The . .. . . . . . . . . . . .. . Show.
Q. 3. "Get your kicks, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ."
Q,4, "The story you are about to see is true. The names have been
changed to . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ."
Q. 5. "In the jungle, the mighty jungle, . . . . . . . . . . ."
Q. 6. After the Twist, The Mashed Potato, and the Watusi, we 'danced' under
a stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a dance called
' , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,'
Q. 7. Nestle's make the very best . . . . . . . . . . . . . ."
Q, 8. Satchmo was America's 'Ambassador of Goodwill.' Our parents
shared this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was . . . . . . . . ."
Q. 9. What takes a licking and keeps on ticking ? . . . . . . . ...
Q.10. Red Skelton's hobo character was named . . . . . . . . . . and Red
always ended his show by saying, 'Good Night, and ' , , , , , , , , , , ,'
Q. 11. Some Americans who protested the Vietnam War did so by
burning their . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ."
Q. 12. The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk in front
was called the VW, What other names did it go by? . . . . . . &. . . . . . ."
Q. 13. In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about 'the day the
music died.' This was a tribute to . . . . . . . . . . . . . ."
Q. 14. We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit. The Russians
did it. It was called . . . . . . . . . . . . . ."
Q. 15. One of the big fads of the late 50's and 60's was a large plastic
ring that we twirled around our waist. It was called the . . . . . . . . . . . ."
!. The Lone Ranger left behind a silver bullet.
2. The Ed Sullivan Show.
3. On Route 66
4. To protect the innocent.
5. The Lion Sleeps Tonight.
6. The Limbo.
8. Louis Armstrong.
9. The Timex watch.
10. Freddy, The Freeloader and 'Good Night and God Bless.'
11. Draft cards (Bras were also burned.. Not Flags as some guessed.)
12. Beetle or Bug
13. Buddy Holly
Sue and Bob sent me the "VERY BRAVE MAN JOKES. Thanks.
How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry her.
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A Battery has a positive side.
What are the three fastest means of communication?
1/ Television. 2/ Telephone. 3/ Telawoman/
What do you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, she's been told twice already.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist pig?
A woman who won't do as she is told.
If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you,
what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long.
After that we need some "Inner Peace" sent by Margaret. Thanks.
If you can start the day without caffeine.
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pain.
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles.
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it.
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give
you any time.
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment.
If you can conquer tension without medical help.
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs.
Then you are probably the Family Dog.
Another cool Math atest sent by my friend Linda. Thank you.
There are 18 popular movies listed by number below.
Scroll down and do the quiz as it instructs and find our which
movie is your favorite. It really works. This amazing maths quiz
can likely predict which of the 18 films you would enjoy the most.
Don't ask me how?
Pick a number from 1 - 9.
Multiply by three.
Multiply by 3 again.
Now add the two digits together to find your predicted favorite movie
in the list below.
1. Gone with the Wid.
3. Beverly Hills Cop
4. Out of Africa
5. Forrest Gump
8. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
9. The Joy of Anal Goat Sex
10. Pirate of the Carribean
11. Jurassic Park
13. Star Wars Trilogy
15 Raiders of the Lost Ark
16. Home Alone
17. Mrs. Doubtfire
18. Toy Story.
A few quotes to finish with . . . .
To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.
~ ~ ~ Elbert Hubbard.
A well spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well spent brings
happy death. ~ ~ ~ Leonardo da Vinci.
Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way
things turn out. ~ ~ ~ Art Linkletter.
Doing your best in this moment puts you in the best place for the
next moment. ~ ~ ~ Oprah Winfrey.
Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.
~ ~ ~ Alexander Pope.
Remember that today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday.
~ ~ ~ Dale Carnegie.
Time to close this post, my friends. I hope you found something of
interest to you. Take great care and enjoy your lives. I am going to see
another doctor on Monday, so we will see what she has to say.
Love and Best Wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.
Post 667 ~~ Saturday, 27th February, 2010.