Monday, April 19, 2010

Explanation of God.

Post 676 ~ ~ ~ Monday, 19th April, 2010.

Hello My Friends ~~ Well the leg pain has subsided to a bearable state,
I am pleased to say and my 2 Specialist appointments are tomorrow
and Friday and I hope that will be the end of all appointments for awhile.
I had an awful day last Thursday, with severe pain and could hardly walk
and was shaking badly. John took me to the Doctor who sent me for a
full body scan, which revealed I have a hairline stress fracture of pelvis
and Bursitis in my right hip. No cancer or very bad things.

Thank you so much to my blogger friends who were concerned for me.
Blogger friends are the very best of people. John spent most of the
day with me taking me here and there and was a big help.

I hope your lives are going well and you are enjoying the change of the
weather, whether it is Spring or Autumn (Fall), Our nights have got a
lot cooler and that makes for a good night's sleep. And Spring is lovely
to get things planted and flowering.

My good friend Linda who lives in Canberra sent me today's offering.
It was written by an 8 year old boy named Danny Dutton who lives
in Chula Vista, CA. He wrote it for 3rd grade homework "to explain God"
Thank you Linda.

One of God's main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace
the ones that die, so there will be enough people to take care of things
on earth. He doesn't make grown-ups, just babies. I think because they
are smaller and easier to make. That way He doesn't have to take up His
valuable time teaching them to talk and walk. He can just leave that to
mothers and fathers.

God's second most important job is listening to prayers. An awful lot
of this goes on, since some people like preachers and things, pray at
times besides bedtime. God doesn't have time to listen to the radio
or TV because of this. Because He hears everything, there must be a
terrible lot of noise in His ears, unless He has thought of a way to turn
it off.

God sees everything and hears everything and is everywhere, which
keeps Him pretty busy. So you shouldn't go wasting His time by going
over your Mom and Dad's head asking for something they said you
couldn't have.

Atheists are people who don't believe in God. I don't think there are
any in Chula Vista.. At least there aren't any who come to our church.

Jesus is God's son. He used to do all the hard work, like walking on
water and performing miracles and trying to teach the people who
didn't want to learn about God. They finally got tired of Him preaching
to them and they crucified Him. But he was good and kind, like His father,
and He told His father that they didn't know what they were doing and
to forgive them and God said, "OK."

His Dad (God) appreciated everything that He had done and all his hard
work on earth, so He told Him He didn't have to go out on the road
anymore. He could stay in Heaven. So He did. And now helps his Dad
by listening to prayers and seeing things which are important to God
to take care of and which ones He can take care of Himself without
having to bother God. Like a secretary only more important.

You can pray anytime you want and they are sure to help you, because
they have it worked out that one of them is on duty all the time.

You should always go to church on Sunday, because it makes God
happy, and if there's anybody you want to make happy, it's God.

Don't skip church to do something you think will be more fun like
going to the beach. This is wrong, and besides the sun doesn't come
out at the beach until noon.

If you don't believe in God, besides being an atheist, you will be very
lonely, because your parents can't go everywhere with you, like to
camp, but God can. It is good to know He's around when you're scared,
in the dark or when you can't swim and you get thrown into real deep
water by big kids.

But . . .you shouldn't just always think of what God can do for you.
I figure God put me here and He can take me back anytime He pleases
. . . And . . .That's why I believe in God.

May God bless you. Have an awesome day, and know that
someone has thought about you.

First joke tonight was sent by my good friend Sharon. Thank you.
It is called Her Diary, His Diary.

Her Diary: Dear Diary.
Tonight I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to
meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long
so I thought he may be upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he
made no comment.

Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere
quiet so we could talk. He agreed but didn't say much. I asked him what
was wrong. He said, "Nothing." I asked if it was my fault he was upset.
He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to
worry about it.

On the way home, I told him I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept
driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say,
"I love you too." When we got home, I felt that I had lost him completely,
as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there
quietly and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent.

Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15
minutes later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my
caress, and we made love. But I still felt he was distracted, and his
thoughts somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried, I don't know what
to do.I'm almost sure his thoughts are with someone else.
My life is a disaster . . . .

His Diary:
My boat wouldn't start today, but at least I got laid.

My dear friend Gina sent the next one, Voted Best Joke in Ireland.

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest
of my life between the legs of my wife."

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night.

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the best toast tonight."
She said, "Aye, did ye now? And what was your toast? John said,
"Here's to spending the rest of my life, sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, that's very nice indeed, John," Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the
street corner.

The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other
night with a toast about you Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You Know
he's been in there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and
the other time I had to pull him by the ears, to make him come."

A few more blonde ones from my friend, Jim, Thank you for these.

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to the river and sees
another blonde on the opposite ban.

"Yahoo" she shouts, How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river and then down the river and
shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said
that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

"Impossible " said the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed it on her left shoulder and she
screamed, then she pushed her left elbow and screamed even more.
She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle
and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?"
"Well no," she said. "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," said the doctor. "Your finger is broken."

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind
the wheel was knitting.

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the
trooper put down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled,

"No." the blonde yelled back, "IT'S a SCARF."

Last for tonight came from my friend Warren. Thanks Mate.

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they got there, St Peter says,
"We only have one rule here in heaven:
Don't step on the ducks."

So they enter heaven, and sure enough ,
There are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck.
And although they try their best to avoid them,
The first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says,
"Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to
spend eternity chained to this ugly man.

The next day,
The second woman steps accidentally on a duck,
And along comes St.Peter
Who doesn't miss a thing.
With him is another extremely ugly man.
He chains them together
With the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and
Not wanting to be chained
For all eternity to an ugly man, is very
VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months
without stepping on any ducks
One day, St Peter comes up to her
With the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on
...Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says,
"I wonder what I did to deserve being
Chained to you for all eternity.

The guy says , "I don't know about you,
But I stepped on a duck."

One last one - - How to speak New Zulander -- for bist
effect, read these aloud.

Milburn . . . capitol of Victoria.
Pigs . . . . . for hanging out washing with.
Peck . . . to fill a suitcase
Pissed aside . . . chemical which kills insects.
Pug . . . . . . ....large pink animal with a curly tail.
Nin Tin Dough . . . computer game
Munner stroney soup

Min . . . . . male of the species.
Mess Kara . . . eye makeup
McKennock . . . . person who fixes cars
Mere . . . . . Mayor
Leather . . . . foam produced from soap.
Lift . . . . . departed
Kiri Pecker . . . famous Australian businessman.
Kittle crusp . . . potato chips.
Ken's . . . . Cairns.
Jungle Bills . . . Christmas carol.
Inner me . . . . enemy
Guess . . . . . vapour
Fush . . . . Marine creatures
Fitter cheney . . . type of Pasta
Ever cardeau . . . . avocado
Fear Hear . . . . blonde
Ear . . . . . mix of nitrogen and oxy

That is about half of those, will post the others another time.

Well it is time for more tablets and to lock up for the night.
One quote tonight for my son John.

Thanks so much for all your help. I couldn't have done it without you,
and I really appreciate the time you put in. Very much appreciated.

Bye for now my friends, I appreciate all of you folks too.
Love and Best Wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 676 ~ ~ ~ Monday, 19th April, 2010.


Dave said...

*S* First post!

Loved the Diary and Ducks jokes Merle!!!

So glad you're feeling better, and glad that you have family so close as to help out... *S*

Margaret Cloud said...

I am praying for you my friend. Glad the pain is not as bad. That is so cute about God, kids are great. I liked all your jokes especially the one from Warren. I hope you can stop going to the doctor. Thank you for coming by.

Beth E. said...

I'm so sorry you've been having so much pain. I'm praying for your quick and complete recovery, dear friend.


audrey` said...

Hi Merle =) How was the appointment today? We're very happy to know that your legs are feeling much better now. Take care. (((HUGS)))

Lee said...

Whew! wonder you were suffering so much pain! You know, my greatest fear is falling over and cracking something...and as we get older that danger is there about us all the time. Do take good care...I guess rest is the only remedy on offer for the hairline stress fracture of your pelvis. The bursitis in your hip was probably your hip going out in sympathy. The frustrating part, too, is that your nerves suffer, too, when you are in pain like that.

I hope things are a lot better this week. Hugs.

Jim said...

O Merle, I feel your pain, it was so bad! My mom broke her pelvis and she hurt about the worst. Good for John in taking you to a doctor. Wouldn't it be something if that was causing all your hurts?

I liked your jokes tonight. The little boy's story was great, I like best his line, "if there's anybody you want to make happy, it's God."
Thank you too for posting the blonde jokes, I vaguely remembered some of them. But I laughed at every one of them.


Anonymous said...

Merle please be careful, ( I am sure you are) I worry about your hip.
Wouldn't it be nice if we all could be there for each other. Instead we are thousands of miles apart but our hearts goe out to each other.Take care friend.

Joy Des Jardins said...

I'm glad you had that scan you know just what's up; and a hairline stress fracture of your pelvis and bursitis are enough to deal with. At least you have nothing more than that. So glad you'll be done with doctors for a while...and I'm really glad your pain is better. We all have our 'things' as we get older Merle. I guess we just deal with them. Sending ((((((Big Hugs))))) to you sweet friend. Love, Joy

audrey` said...

Praying for your medical appointment today, Merle. Take care (((HUGS)))

Praise God that your doctor was very patient and helpful on Wednesday.

Mountain Mama said...

Oh my goodness! I am so sorry to hear about the problems Merle. I am praying for a fast healing and that you will stay well.

I got a good laugh from your jokes and especially like the child's story about God. How cute.
Take care now and be well,

Lady Di Tn said...

Glad to hear the leg pain is not as bad. Tell John we all appreciate him being such a good son. Enjoy the story and the jokes. Still in flip flops and we have had a few cool days and I could have used some socks and shoes. Tried the tennis shoes and it was not good, so I put them back in the closet for another week. Peace

sewa mobil di surabaya said...

thank you for read the post here
may God Bless you all