Post 686 ~~ Sunday, 6th June, 2010.
Hello again my friends ~~ I hope it is warmer where you are, because
it sure isn't very warm here. I put lots of clothes on and still feel cold.
So then the heater goes on, which helps a lot. It is Winter in Australia.
I really should get outside and do more moving around I guess.
The first item tonight was sent to me by my good friend Patty. Thanks.
A little boy was selling newspapers on the corner. The people were in
and out of the cold. The little boy was so cold that he wasn't trying to
sell many papers.
He walked up to a policeman and said, "Mister, you wouldn't know
where a poor boy could find a warm place to sleep tonight, would you?
You see, I sleep in a box up around the corner there and down the
alley and it's awful cold in there for tonight. Sure would be nice to have
a warm place to stay."
The policeman looked down at the little boy and said, "You go down
the street to that big white house and knock on the door. When they
come out the door, you just say, John 3:16, and they will let you in."
So he did. He walked up the steps and knocked on the door, and a
lady answered. He looked up and said John 3:16. The lady said,
"Come in Son."
She took him in and she sat him down in a split bottom rocker in front
of a great big old fireplace, and she went off.. The boy sat there for a
while and thought to himself: John 3:16.....I don't understand it, but it
sure makes a cold boy warm.
Later she came back and asked him, "Are you hungry?" He said, "Well,
just a little. I haven't eaten in a couple of days, and I guess I could stand
a little bit of food."
The lady took him to the kitchen and sat him down to a table of
wonderful food. He ate and ate until he couldn't eat any more. Then he
thought to himself: John 3:16 . . . Boy, I don't understand it but it sure
makes a hungry boy full.
She took him upstairs to a bathroom to a huge bathtub filled with warm
water, and he sat there and soaked for a while. As he soaked, he thought
to himself: John 3:16 . . . I don't understand it, but it sure makes a dirty
boy clean. You know, I've not had a bath, a real bath, in my whole life.
The only bath I ever had was when I stood in front of that big old fire
hydrant as they flushed it out.
The lady came and got him and took him to a room and tucked him
into a big old feather bed, pulled the covers up around his neck, kissed
him goodnight and turned out the lights. As he lay in the darkness and
looked out the window at the snow coming down on that cold night,
he thought to himself: John 3:16 . . .I don't understand it but it sure
makes a tired boy rested.
The next morning the lady came back up and took him down to the
that same big table full of food. After he ate, she took him back to
that same old split bottom rocker in front of the fireplace and she
picked up an old Bible.
She sat down in front of him and looked into his young face. "Do you
understand John 3:16?" she asked him gently. He replied, "No Ma'am
I don't. The first time I ever heard it was last night when a policeman
told me to use it."
She opened the Bible to John 3:16 and began to explain to him about
Jesus. Right there, in front of that big old fireplace, he gave his heart
and life to Jesus. He sat there and thought" John 3:16 . . don't
understand it, but it sure makes a lost boy safe.
You know, I have to confess I don't understand either, how God was
willing to send His Son to die for me, and how Jesus would agree to do
such a thing. I don't understand the agony of the Father and every
angel in heaven as they watched Jesus suffer and die. I don't
understand the intense love for ME that kept Jesus on the cross until
the end. I don't understand it, but it sure does make life worth living.
John 3:16. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten
Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have
Jesus said,"If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before
my Father." Pass this on if you mean it.
I do love God . . .He is my source of existence . .He keeps me functioning
each and every day. Phil 4:13. If you love God and are not ashamed of
all the marvelous things He has done for you, send it on.
Let's see Satan stop this one.
One from Mountain Wings called "Bridal Registry."
A bride called to make a change to her wedding registry. It is common,
almost expected, that a bride will change something on her registry
at least once (dishes, color of towels etc).
So the Customer Service Representative told her the store would be
happy to make the change. He asked if the bride wanted to change
the dishes or the linens.
The bride said: "No, keep all of that. I just want to change the name
of the groom."
Next one from my good friend Linda L in Canberra. Thanks Linda.
It is called " Hell of a story."
John Howard, Queen Elizabeth and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell.
While there, they spy a red phone and ask what it is for.
The Devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.
Putin asks to call Russia and talks 5 minutes. When he is finished, the
devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes a
Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When
she is finished, the devil informs her the cost is 6 million dollars, so
she writes him a cheque.
Finally John Howard gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is
finished, the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00. When Putin
hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Howard got to
call Australia so cheaply.
The Devil smiles and replies: "Since Rudd took over, the country
has gone to hell, so it's a local call."
One from my good friend Robyn. Thank you for this one.
The Oil Crisis.
A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil
shortage here in Australia.
Well there is a simple answer.
Nobody bothered to check the oil.
We just didn't know we were getting low.
The reason for this is purely geographical.
Our OIL is located in --
East Queensland Shale Fields
Perth Basin and
North-West Continental Shelf.
Our DIPSTICKS are located in Canberra. !!!
Any questions??? NO? I didn't think so.
One from my friend, Warren. Thanks mate.
If you are a senior you will understand this one, if you deal with
seniors this should help you understand them a little better, and if
you are not a senior yet . . . . God willing, someday you will be.
The $2.99 Special.
We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the Seniors' Special
was two eggs, bacon, hash brown and toast for $2.99.
"Sounds good," my wife said, "But I don't want the eggs."
"Then I will have to charge you $3.49 because you are ordering
a la carte," the waitress warned her. "You mean I'd have to pay for
for not taking the eggs?" my wife asked incredulously.
"YES." stated the waitress.
" I'll take the special then," my wife said.
"How do you want your eggs?" the waitress asked.
"Raw and in the shell," my wife replied. She took the two eggs
home and baked a cake . . . .
DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS.. we have been around the block
more than once!!
The woman went to have her false teeth adjusted for the fifth time.
She said they still didn't fit.
"Well," said the dentist, "I'll do it this time, but no more. There's no
reason why these shouldn't fit your mouth easily."
"Who said anything about my mouth?" the woman answered,
They don't fit in the glass."
Bill and George were always competing against each other. After
one argument over who was better at folding and packing
parachutes, they went skydiving to settle the dispute.
Bill jumped first, pulled the cord and began to float gently to earth,
Then George jumped and pulled his cord, but nothing happened.
Next he yanked on the safety cord, bur that didn't work either.
In a matter of seconds, George falling like a rock, flew past Bill.
"So," Bill shouted, ripping off his harness, "you want to race."
That is it folks, I hope you got a chuckle or two. Take very good
care of yourselves and each other. Love and Best Wishes to you
Post 686 ~~ Sunday, 6th June, 2010.