Post 690 ~ ~ ~ Thursday, 1st July, 2010.
Hello Everyone ~~ How are things at your place? All good I hope. All is well
here, although it has been very cold with frosty mornings below 0 degrees
C and the days have been maximums of about 10 C or 12C - about 50 F and
53 F. I don't get far from my gas heater these days.
I see we are in the second half of the year already which is rather frightening.
The time just gets away on us doesn't it? Stores are talking about lay-byes
for Christmas. One thing about time flying, only 2 months of Winter left.
First item tonight is a little boy's question to Dad - "What is Politics?"
Whether you are Liberal or Labor supporters, You should get a kick out of this.
A little boy goes to his Dad and asks, "What is Politics?"
Dad says, "Well, son, let me try to explain it this way.
I am the head of the family, so call me the Prime Minister.
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
We are here to take care of your needs, so we call you the People.
The Nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.
And your baby brother, we will call him the Future,
Now think about that and see if it makes sense."
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he goes to
check on him.
He finds that the baby has severely soiled his nappy, (diaper)
So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep.
Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door
locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.
He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says
to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."
The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think
politics are all about."
The little boy replies, "The Prime Minister is screwing the Working Class,
while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and
the Future is in deep s**t."
A short one from my blogging friend Jim. Good one Jim, Thank you.
A Guy's Fairy Tale.
Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess . . . .
"Will you marry me?"
The Princess said . . "NO."
And the Prince lived happily ever after, and rode motor-cycles, and
went fishing, and hunting, and played golf, and dated women half his age,
and drank beer, and scotch and had tons of money in the bank, and left
the toilet seat up. The End.
My friend Margaret in Queensland sent me the next one.New P,M, Thanks.
Well it seems that Kevin Rudd was Gillardtined last week, ending one of
the shortest careers as a Prime Minister.
It's been reported also that Kevin's outfit he wore last as our P.m. is for
sale, very good quality and condition, except for some holes in the back
of the coat and shirt, shame.
One from my friend, Warren - What Religion is Your Bra? Thanks Mate.
Claude walked into the ladies department of Myers and shyly walked up
to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."
"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.
"Type?" inquired Claude, "There's more than one type?"
"Look around", said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every
shape, size, colour and material imaginable.
"Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of
bras to choose from."
Relieved, Claude asked about the types and the saleslady replied:
"There are Catholic,
The Salvation Army,
The Presbyterian and
the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?"
Now totally befuddled, Claude asked about the difference between them.
The Saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple.
The Catholic type supports the masses;
The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen;
The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright;
The Baptist type makes mountains out of molehills."
Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G. and H are the letters
used to define bra sizes?
If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for,
it is about time you became informed.
A Almost Boobs...
B Barely there ... .
C Can't complain . . .
D. Dang . . .
DD Double Dang. . . .
E Enormous . . . .
F Fake . . .
G Get a reduction. . . .
H Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up . . . .
More than we needed to know Warren.
Last one tonight from my good friend Patty Lincoln. Thank you.
What is a Cat?
Cats do what they want.
They rarely listen to you.
They're totally unpredictable.
They whine when they are not happy.
When you want to play, they want to be alone.
When you want to be alone, they want to play.
They expect you to cater to their every whim.
They leave hair everywhere.
They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.
Conclusion : Cats are tiny women in little fur coats.
To conclude, a quotation from Mother Teresa.
I was asked why I did not give a rod with which to fish, in the hands of
the poor, rather than give the fish itself, as thismakes them remain poor.
So I told them : The people we pick up are not able to stand with a rod.
So today I give them fish and when they are able to stand, then I will
send them to you and you can give them the rod.
That is your job. Let me do my work today.
Every generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that
went before it and wiser than the one that comes after it.
~ ~ ~ George Orwell.
Finally one from Erma Bombeck.
Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who
waved off the dessert cart.
Bye for now my friends, Love and best wishes to you all. Enjoy
your lives and be kind to someone. Cheers, Merle.
Post 690 ~ ~ ~ Thursday, 1st July, 2010.