Friday, January 14, 2011

FLOODS ALL OVER.

Post 720 ~ ~ ~ Friday, 14th January, 2011.

Hello again my friends ~~ I hope that all is well with your lives and that you
are all well. I am OK, but it has been a very depressing week or more in
Australia with serious floods all over the country. Queensland have been the
hardest hit and so many have lost their homes and everything in them. It is
so sad for them and the TV has had full time Q'ld flood information and some
horrific scenes and stories. It is distressing, but you feel you should watch.
One story from yesterday, 2 young boys were approached to be rescued and
the 13 year old said "take my 10 year old brother first". They did and saved
the younger boy while the elder one was washed away and drowned. What
a young hero, and what a tragedy for his family.
Over 75 % of Q'ld has been declared a disaster area and there has been
millions of dollars raised for the Relief Fund up there.

It has affected most of my family we visited in Gladstone, Gympie and Brisbane.
Gladstone didn't get flooded, but all the roads were cut and the shops empty.
That is where my daughter and her family live. I hope they got supplies there.

My brother Peter had to reschedule his cataract operation from yesterday
until the 22nd January. His home was quite safe, but the roads out were closed.

In Brisbane my granddaughters couldn't get to work, but their homes safe.
Things are easing now in Q'land with water receding, and flowing down to New
South Wales, and also Victoria. Also floods in Tasmania and Sth. Australia.
Meanwhile there have been bushfires in Western Australia.Hard to believe.
We have had lots and lots of rain in Shepparton this week which is so unlike
Summer weather here. We get most of our rain in Winter and it is so humid
too which is unusual for us.

Now to find some jokes and cheer up a little.Thank you Linda L. for "Walking."

Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to
spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.

My Grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he is
97 years old and we don't know where the hell he is.

I like walking especially when when they are taken by other people.

The only reason I would take up walking is so I could hear heavy
breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what
I'm doing.

I joined a health club last year - - spent about 400 bucks.. I haven't
lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with
chocolate.

The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say
"Well, she looks good doesn't she?"

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years...... just getting over
the hill.

We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information
in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Every time I start thinking too much about how much about how I look
I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.

You could run this over to your friends.....but just e mail it to them.
<><>

Next one from my friend in the UK - Biker Bob. Thank you.

There was a man who worked at the Post Office, whose job it was to
process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter
came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address.
He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read:

Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow living on a very small pension.
Yesterday, someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all
the money I had until my next pension payment.

Next Sunday is Christmas,and I had invited two of my friends over for
dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have
no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?
Sincerely, Edna..

The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all th
e other
workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few
pounds. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96,
which he put in an envelope and sent to the woman.

The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna
and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.

Christmas came and went.
A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God.
It read:
Dear God, How can I thank you enough for what you did for me?
''Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my
friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your
wonderful gift. By the way, there was $4 missing.

I think it might have been those bast##ds at the post office.
Sincerely, Edna.
<><>

Next one is from Mountain Wings. Thank you for "Survivor."

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small uninhabited
island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he
scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.

Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood
to protect himself from the elements and to store his few possessions.

One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut
in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky. The worst had happened;
everything was lost. He was stunned with grief and anger.

"God, how could you do this to me?"

Early the next day, however he was awakened by the sound of a ship
that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him.

"How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man.
"We saw your smoke signal," they replied.

It is easy to get discouraged when things are going bad. But we shouldn't
lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of pain
and suffering.

Remember, next time your little hut is burning to the ground it just may be
a smoke signal that summons the grace of God. -- Author Unknown.
<><>

One my son John sent me called "The Outhouse Poem." Thanks John.

(Note: if you don't know what an Outhouse is - ask someone a
little older.) ( an outdoor toilet)

The service station trade was slow. The owner sat around
with sharpened knife and cedar stick
Piled shavings on the ground.

No modern facilities had they, the log across the rill
Led to a shack, marked His and Hers
That sat against the hill.

Where is the Ladies restroom, sir? The owner leaning back,
Said not a word but whittled on,
And nodded towards the shack.

With quickened step she entered there, but only stayed a minute
Until she screamed, just like a snake or spider might be in it.

With startled look and beet red face, she bounded for the door
And headed quickly for the car.
Just like three gals before.

She missed the foot log - jumped the stream. The owner gave a shout
As her silk stockings down at her knees
Caught on a sassafras sprout.

She tripped and fell -- got up, and then in obvious disgust
Ran to the car and stepped on the gas,
And faded into the dust.

Of course we all desired to know what made the gals all do
The things they did and then we found
The whittling owner knew.

A speaking system he'd devised to make things complete
He tied a speaker on the wall
Beneath the toilet seat.

He'd wait until the gals got set, and then the devilish tike,
Would stop his whittling long enough to speak into the mike.

And as she sat, a voice below struck terror, fright and fear,
"Will you please use the other hole,
We're painting under here!"
<><>

Thanks again Linda for "The Wellie Boot's Story."

This story is about the Pre-School teacher who was helping one of the
children put on his "Wellie boots" to go home.
He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and
him pushing, the little Green Wellies still didn't want to go on.

By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat.
She almost cried when the little boy say, "Miss, they're on the wrong feet."

She looked down and sure enough they were. It wasn't any easier pulling
the boots off, but she managed to keep her cool as together they
worked to get the "Wellies" back off and on again, this time on the right feet.

Then he said quietly, "Miss, these aren't my Wellies."
She bit her tongue rather than shout and scream at him. "Why didn't you
tell me so?"
Once again she struggled to get the ill-fitting Wellies off his little feet.

No sooner had they gotten the Wellies off, he said, "They're my brothers
and my Mum made me wear them."

Now she didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She mustered up what grace
and courage she had left to wrestle the Wellies back on his feet again.

helping him put on his coat, she asked, "Now then, where are your gloves?"

He looked up at her and said, "Mum told me to stuff them in the toes of
my Wellies so I wouldn't lose them."

The teacher will be eligible for parole in three years.
<><>

Well I had a good laugh at that one and hope that you did also. I have
just passed my 5 year anniversary blogging on December 28th.
I have enjoyed all of it, and met some wonderful friends in those 5 years.
Still going strong. Love and Best Wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 720 ~ ~ ~ Friday, 14th January, 2011.
<><><>



21 comments:

Annie said...

Dear Merle, I'm glad to read that you, yourself, are safe but I know it has to be a terrible worry for you regarding the safety and supply of your extended family.

Somehow we feel compelled to watch these unfolding national tragedies, I think, at least in part to honor those who are affected.

I have Australia on my prayer list sidebar and will continue to prayer for you, yours, and all.

Every thought is a prayer,
Annie

EleCat said...

The floods and fires are heart breaking and another reminder of how powerful and unexpected mother nature is. Reading your post got me teary.... again. It's hard to explain to my daughters why their mummy is so distressed watching the news. At 6 & 3, I'm not going to tell them everything but Eleanor (miss 6) is so sweet. She gave money for the floods so that they could buy some new clothes and toys. Our hearts go out to everyone who's been affected. On a lighter note: enjoyed your jokes and enjoying your blog. :)

Gledwood said...

Ukh that sounds like chaos. It probably wouldn't figure on Aussie news so much but there's also floods in Sri Lanka from the same weather system and Rio de Janeiro (different cause but they got a month's rain in a week. There they blame building in inappropriate places I'm not sure that's the case in Queensland it just sounds like a nightmare situation I hope it goes away quickly. You know they can actually build floodproof houses with plastic skirting boards etc... in Holland they actually built a house that floats on a platform (I take it it's tethered down else it might drift quite a way!) ... ps did you hear about the flood in the uk where someone's goldfish escaped and was found in a puddle in a football pitch half a mile away!... Absolutely true!!

Dave said...

I'm glad you're OK Merle... I'm sorry for all the flooding down there..

The Post Office joke, and the Wellies ones were outstanding! *S*

Have a nice weekend dear friend..

BBQ said...

Praise our Lord that you and your loved ones are safe, Merle =)

Theanne... said...

So happy you and your family are safe from the floods...there seem to horrific tragedies happening all over the world, prayers for you, your family, friends and fellow countrymen. I enjoy your jokes...I'm even old enough to know what an outhouse is...so particularly enjoyed that one..LOL

Lady Di Tn said...

Glad to hear you and your family are safe even though some may be cut off from supplies. The videos they showed on the news here of your flood was rather frighting. As it was here, the giving nature of the community will pull together to recover from the floods. Loved the walking jokes and the boots. Peace

Rob said...

Hi Merle, It really is a terrible mess that you're in over there. I remember in past years you talking about how hot and dry it was now it seems everything is on it's head. I hope you reamain safe and dry where you live.

Puss-in-Boots said...

Hi Merle. Thank you for the laughs. After the last week, we need that. I do hope your family are all right. So many people are affected and it's
distressing to see the state of the suburb I used to live in...all the houses and little cafes under water. I've stopped watching the news so much...it's too upsetting.

However, the army of civilian volunteers is absolutely amazing. They, the Emergency Services, Police and Military are working hard to help people clean up. Not nice work because there's an awful stench, it's very humid, there are mosquitoes and also leeches in the water plust the danger of infection.

However, people are just getting into it with no thought for themselves. It's showing the true Australian spirit and in the long run that's what it's all about, isn't it?

Hugs

Jack K. said...

It is heartbreaking to see the amount of destruction the water has brought to your land. My heart and prayers go out to you all. It has made the news here too.

How sad about that young man who gave his life to save his younger brother. He has surely earned his way into Heaven.

Loved the story about the "Wellies". i think I read it before. Still funny.

Gattina said...

I have seen this disaster on TV of course. I am so happy that my virtual friends in Australia living around or in Brisbane are safe.
In Belgium too we have floods and it's terrible because it's winter and cold ! Waterloo has nothing but only 20 km away they had up to 1.50 m flooding ! A big or small wountry, the misery is everywhere the same !

Gina E. said...

Hi Merle, it's just awful, makes you feel so helpless. I don't know what's worse - fires or floods. But as Dorothea McKellar wrote, they are the nature of Australia (not her words, but you get my drift). Ken and I have decided not to have our usual Australia Day Party at home; instead we are going up to Kinglake to support a fund raising event they are holding up there to help the Qld. flood victims. They may end up channelling some of the money raised to Vic. towns now though. Whatever. It doesn't matter, as long as it goes somewhere to help people.

Granny Annie said...

The flooding is horrendous. I really had no idea and will keep you in my prayers. You stirred all my emotions with this post. I cried at the story of the 13 year old who lost his life saving his brother then I laughed until I almost cried again at your humorous stories. The walking one had to be the best.

Peter said...

Hi Merle, my first post wes on April 4th 2005 so heading toward 6th year.

Big Dave T said...

I read the story earlier about the two boys and the older one saying to take the younger one. That's too sad. There was video on the news that showed this one woman hanging on to her dog getting rescued from a raging torrent of water. But she lost hold of the dog in the water and lost him. That was sad too because you could see the dog get washed away.

That post office joke was way too funny. Even my son laughed and he doesn't laugh at too many jokes.

desert dirt diva said...

Oh my,I am so sorry to hear about the floods......prayers to your country!
It has been so long since I have read your blog......as my computer has no dsl, just dial up.....so I got a hand held......anyways, I loved your jokes, and when the worm thing came up....I just about threw my phone out the window.........even my husband noticed and he never pays attention to anything I do...lol.......as always thank you for making me laugh......

Margaret Cloud said...

This flooding is so awful, I have several friends from Australia and they have been filling me in. I sure am praying for you all. These were all good stories and jokes. I laughed at them all especially the teacher and the boots. Keep us smiling. Have a nice week and hope the rain and flooding stops soon.

Gigi Ann said...

Thanks for visiting me this morning, Merle.
So sorry about all the flooding in your country. I heard about it on the TV news shows. The stories are so sad to hear, esp. the one of the two small boys. I hope your family will be alright through it all.

I did like the joke about the wellies, after raising five children, I can feel her frustration. I hope you are feeling well and the rains will move on soon and the sunshine comes out and helps dry things up a bit for you.

I hope you have a splendid week.

Gigi Ann

Pearl said...

I am so sorry to hear about the flooding...Such a touching story about the brothers. Hope you and your family stay safe.
Sending you hugs,

Linda May said...

Happy 5th Anniversary dear blogging friend. I am glad to hear you are doing well. Those floods have been absolutely devastating haven't they. I had family in Brizzie, Rocky and Grafton and today I have seen on the tele the floods in Victoria. My cousin lives in Warracknabeal. I hope he is ok. The others have been lucky.

Joy Des Jardins said...

I pray you and your family stay safe Merle. I can't imagine the devastation that everyone must be feeling. I hope these conditions get better quickly.

I know of the story about the two brothers...and the older one dying to save his younger brother. Heartbreaking.

Take care sweet friend...and stay safe... Love, Joy