Post 719 ~ ~ ~ Wednesday, 5th January, 2011.
Hello my friends ~ ~ Time to do another post, and I have posted quite a few
photos, so will not waste too much time here. I am still feeling tired, but better
this week. I hope you all had a wonderful New Year and that it will be a great
one for all of us. I feel so sorry for the people involved in floods, who stand to
lose everything - it must be heart-breaking for them. Many can't even go home
for days or weeks. Great start for their New Year, not.
This is John's youngest daughter Rachael, her husband, Andrew and Chloe who is 2.
We stayed here two nights one on the way up and one on the way home.
Chloe with a piece of Pizza in each hand and she has it all over her dress.
This one is out of order but is John's middle daughter Rebecca (Bec), Sammie
with her baby Summer 10 months with her Dad Laurie. Julie at the back.
Another one of Rachael, Chloe and Andrew. My granddaughter, her husband
and my great granddaughter Chloe.
This is 4 generations with me, Julie on the right, Sammie on left and 4 great
granddaughters - Summer, Gabrielle, with her arm around me, Tabatha and Maya.
An older one on Summer -- she is almost walking now and full of smiles.
Again 4 generations, Me, G D Sammie, with Summer, daughter Julie
and Great Granddaughters Gaby,Taba and Maya.
Chloe, Sammie and my son John who took me on this journey. Sam is his niece.
Me with Chris, John and Laurie
I started off with a small photo and could not
delete it and there are some the same.
But you get the idea.
Summer and her Grandpa are great friends
and have been her entire life. They "talk" to
Me, G.Son Chris, G D, Samantha and Julie daughter with her husband Laurie
with Summer, great grand daughter.
Now to find a few jokes.
One from Mountain Wings called Things are not always what they seem.
One day, an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn
some money as a street performer. Unfortunately, as soon as he starts
to draw a crowd, the zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his office.
The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction,
a gorilla has died suddenly. The keeper fears that attendance at the zoo
will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they
can get another one. The mime accepts.
So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage
before the crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep
all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds
than he ever did as a mime.
However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he gets bored just swinging
on tires. He begins to notice the people are paying more attention to the
lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his
audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and
dangles from the top of the lion's cage. Of course this makes the lion furious
but the crowd loves it.
At the end of the day the zoo keeper comes and gives the mime a raise for
being such a good attraction as a gorilla.
Well this goes on for some time, the mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds
grow larger and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is
dangling over the furious lion, he slips and falls. The mime is terrified.
The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce. The mime is so scared that he
begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind.
Finally the mime starts screaming, yelling, "Help me" but the lion is quick and
The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and
the lion says, "Shut up you idiot. Do you want to get us both fired?"
A good friend Edna always encloses a joke or two with her Christmas
card, so Thanks Edna. Doctored Results is the first one.
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello", "Mrs Ward
"Mrs Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When
your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy
from another Mr. Ward arrived as well and we are now uncertain which
one is your husbands. Frankly the results are either bad or terrible."
"What do you mean?" Mrs. Ward asks nervously.
"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other
one tested positive for Aids. We can't tell which is your husbands,"
"That's dreadful. Can't you do the test again?" Mrs Ward asks.
"Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests
"Well, what am I supposed to do now?" asks Mrs Ward.
"The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off
somewhere in the middle of town.
"If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him."
Ever since Mick was a child, he'd always had a fear of someone under his bed
at night. So he went to a shrink and told him his problem.
"Every time I go to bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared, I think
I'm going crazy."
"Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Talk to me three
times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears."
"How much do you charge?" Mick asked.
"Only $80 per visit," the doctor replied.
"I'll sleep on it," Mick said, a bit startled.
Six months later the doctor met Mick on the street. "Why didn't you ever come
to see me about those fears of yours?" he asked.
"Well $80 bucks a visit three times a week for a year is a lot of money," Mick said.
"A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money."
With a bit of an attitude he indignantly inquired, "And how may I ask, could a
mere bartender cure you?"
"Simple, he told me to cut the legs off the bed. There sure isn't anybody under
there now, nor likely to be..
So forget the shrinks. Go have a talk with your bartender instead.
One my son John sent about a Washington Post Competition. Thanks John.
Asking for a two-line rhyme. With the first line the most romantic and
the least Romantic second line.
1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife
Marrying you has screwed up my life.
2. I see your face when I'm dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming.
3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot,
This describes everything you are not.
4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.
5. I thought I could love no other
-- that is until I met your brother.
6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead.
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
7. I want to feel your sweet embrace,
But don't take that paper bag off your face.
8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies.
9. My love, you take my breath away
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
10. My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe, "Go to hell."
11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
WHO SAID POETRY WAS BORING?
Time to say Bye for now, Next time less photos and more jokes.
Look after yourselves and your loved one. Share a smile with someone
who doesn't have one. Love and Best Wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.
Post 719 ~ ~ ~ Wednesday, 5th January, 2011.