From A Distance.

Post 738 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 5th June, 2011.

Hello Everyone ~~ I hope things are going very well for you all and that you
are all keeping well. I am doing very well. My Physio lady is surprised each
week with how much improvement I am showing and she knows that I am
doing my exercises. I use a stick some of the time and a little less with the
walking frame. I even cheat a bit and walk unaided, still a bit wobbly.
My brother Peter put on a good post about blogging and what it means.

The first item today is from Mountain Wings, called "From A Distance."

From a distance the world looks blue and green
And the snow-capped mountains white
From a distance the ocean meets the stream
And the eagle takes to flight.

From a distance there is harmony
And it echoes through the land
It's the voice of hope
It's the voice of peace
It's the voice of every man.

From a distance we all have enough
And no-one is in need
And there are no guns, no bombs, and no disease
No hungry mouths to feed.

From a distance we are instruments
Marching in a common land
Playing songs of hope
Playing songs of peace
They're the songs of every man.

God is watching us
God is watching us
God is watching us from a distance.

From a distance you look like my friend
Even though we are at war
From a distance I just cannot comprehend
What all this fighting is for.

From a distance there is harmony
And it echoes through the land
And it's the hope of hope
It's the love of love
It's the heart of every man
It's the hope of hope
It's the love of love
This is the song of every man.

And God is watching us
God is watching us
God is watching us from a distance
Oh, God is watching us
God is watching us
God is watching us from a distance.

From the song "From a Distance"

Written by Julie Gold, sung by Bette Midler.
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Now for some jokes. My dear friend in Canberra, Linda sent me
a nice lot yesterday. Many thanks Linda.

No-one believes seniors . . . .everyone thinks they are senile.
An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had
married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighbor-
hood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school.
It was not locked, so they entered and found the old desk they had shared
where Andy had carved --I love you Sally.

On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, and
practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up, and not sure what
to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money - fifty
thousand dollars.
Andy said, "We have to give it back."
Sally said, "Finders keepers." She put the money back in the bag and hid it in
their attic.

The next day, two police officers were canvassing the neighborhood looking
for the money, and knocked on their door. "Pardon me, did either of you find
a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday. Sally said, "NO."
Andy said, "She's lying. She hid it in the attic."
Sally said, Don't believe him, he's getting senile."
The agents turned to Andy and began to question him. One said, "Tell us
the story from the beginning."

Andy said, "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday . . . .

The first police officer turned to his partner and said, "We're outta here."
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Another from Linda called "The Indian With One Testicle."


There once was an Indian who had only one testicle and whose given name
was 'Onestone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him
Onestone.
After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, "If
anyone calls me Onestone again, I will kill them.
The word got around and nobody called him that any more.

Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning
Onestone. He jumped up and grabbed her and took her deep into the forest
where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the
next day, until Blue Bird died of exhaustion.
The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do..
Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman
named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away.
Yellow Bird who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone.

She hugged him and said, "Good to see you Onestone.
Onestone grabbed her and took her deep into the forest, then he made love
to her all day and made love to her all night,made love to her all the next
day and made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die.

Why???

Oh Come on.... take a guess.

Think about it.

You're going to love this

Everyone knows.....

You Can't kill Two Birds with Onestone.
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I hope no one was offended by that joke.
Now some shorter ones again from Linda.

Proof- Reading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?

Man Kills Self before Shooting Wife and Daughter. It took the Editor2 or 3
readings before he realized that what he was reading was impossible.

Something went wrong in Jet crash. Expert says "Really? Ya think?

Police Begin to Run Down Jaywalkers. That's taking things a bit far.

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over. What a Guy.

Miners Refuse to Work after Death. No-good-for-nothing. Lazy so-and-so's.

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendants. See if that works any better
than a fair trial.

If Strike isn't settled Quickly, it may last awhile. Ya think?

War Dims Hope for Peace. I can see where it might have that effect.

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures. Who would have thought?

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide.
They may be on to something.

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges.
You mean there s something stronger than Duct Tape?

Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge.
He probably IS the battery charge.

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft.
That's what he gets for eating those beans.

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group. Weren't they fat enough?

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks. Do they taste like chicken?

Local High School Dropouts Cut inn Half. Chainsaw Massacre all over again.

Hospitals are Sued by 7 foot doctors. Boy are they tall?

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery. Hundreds dead.
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Last one tonight is from Mountain Wings. called "ONE DAY JOB."

After landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter - a good find for many retirees
I lasted less than one day.

About two hours into my first day on the job, a very loud, very unattractive,
mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling
obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, "Good Morning and welcome to
Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?

The woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "H**l no, they ain't twins.
The oldest is nine, and the other one is seven. Why the h**l would you
think they are twins? Are you blind or just stupid?

So I replied, " I'm neither blind or stupid, Ma'am. I just couldn't believe
someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for
shopping at Wal-Mart."

My supervisor said I was probably not cut out for this line of work.
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Take care all my dear friends and look after yourselves and each other.
My love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle. I had a nice surprise
this evening to have a phone call from another cousin, John R, Thanks
John. Nice to hear from you. We usually just e mail each other.

Post 738 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 5th June, 2011.
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