Saturday, June 11, 2011

The Shoebox.

Post 739 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 12th June, 2011.

Hello again Everyone ~~It is nice to be back with you again. It is nice to be
anywhere I guess. I am doing fine and have the day off next week. So it
is to be fortnightly visits to the Physio. She can see that I am improving
and doing the exercises
, so that makes it worthwhile to get some praise.

I hope your lives are going well too and you are all as well as you can be. I hear
via blogs from the Northern Hemisphere that the weather is nice and warm.
over there and even too hot in some places. We have been having quite cold days
and early mornings VERY cold, so I stay in bed longer, and indoors most of the time.
We have had a few nice days mixed in with the others.

The first item is called "The Shoebox" and was sent to me from my friend
in Canberra Linda. Thank you so much for this one.

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared
everything and talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each
other, except that the little old woman had a shoebox on the top of her closet that
she had cautioned her husband ne
ver to open it or ask her about it.

For all those years. he had never thought about the box, but one
day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she
would not recover.

In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the
shoebox and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed it was time
he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found
two crocheted dolls and a stack of money, totaling $95,000.

He asked her about the contents.

"When we were married," she said, "my grandmother told me the
secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me If I
ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll."

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only
two precious dolls were in the box, She had only ever been
angry with him in all those years of living and loving. He almost
burst with happiness.

"Honey," he said, "that explains the dolls, but what about all of this
money? Where did it come from?"

"Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling the dolls.."

Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods;
Because Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll beat him to death,
Because I don't have time to crochet.

Next one is from Mountain Wings and is called "The Secret
of Success."

"Sir, what is the secret of your success?" a reporter asked
a bank president.

"Two Words."

"And sir what are they?"

"Right Decisions."

"And how do you make the right decisions?"

"One Word."

"And sir, what would that be?"


"And how do you get experience?"

"Two words."

"And sir, what are they?

"Wrong Decisions,"
Next ones were sent by my son John. Thanks John.
Interesting facts for those who think they know everything.

If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on the
right side of your mouth. If you are left handed, you will tend
to chew your food on the left side of your mouth.

To make half a kilo of honey, bees must collect nectar from over
2 million flowers.

Heroin is the brand name of morphine once marketed by Bayer.

People in nudist colonies play volleyball more than any other

Tourists visiting Iceland should know that tipping at a restaurant
is considered an insult.

Albert Einstein was offered the presidency of Israel in 1952 but
he declined.

Astronauts can't belch - there is no gravity to separate liquid
from gas in their stomachs.

Ancient Roman, Chinese and German societies often used urine
as a mouthwash.

The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows. In the Renaissance era, it was
the fashion to shave them off.

Because of the speed at which the Earth moves around the Sun,
it is impossible for a solar eclipse to last more than 7 minutes and
58 seconds.

The night of January 20th is "Saint Agnes's Eve," which is regarded
as a time when a young woman dreams of her future husband.

Google is actually the common name for a number with a million

It takes glass one million years to decompose, which means it
never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times.

Gold is the only metal that doesn't rust, even if it's buried in the
ground for thousands of years.

Your tongue is the only muscle in your body that is attached at
only one end.

If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. When
a human body is dehydrated, it's thirst mechanism shuts off.

Each year 2,000,000 smokers either quit smoking or die of
tobacco related diseases,

Kites were used in the American Civil War to deliver letters and

Zero is the only number that cannot be represented by Roman

The song, Auld Lang Syne, is sung at the stroke of midnight in
almost every English speaking country to bring in the New Year.

Drinking water after eating reduces the acid in your mouth by
61 per cent.

Peanut oil is used for cooking in submarines because it doesn't
smoke unless it is heated above 450 F.

The roar we hear when we place a sea-shell next to our ear is
not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through
the veins in the ear.

Nine out of every 10 living things live in the ocean.
Some of those are very interesting, especially the last one.
I thought that was enough for now, have more for another time.

A rather risque joke from my cousin in New Zealand.
Thanks Karyn. I think.

Next time you use a pair of latex gloves, you're gonna
think about this and smile.

A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady,
was nervous, so he decided to tell her a little joke as he
put on his gloves.

"Do you know how they make these gloves?" he asked.
"No, I don't." she replied.

"Well said the dentist, "there's a building in Canada with
a big tank of latex, and workers of all hand sizes walk up
to the tank and dip their hands in, let them dry, then peel
off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size."

She didn't crack a smile.
But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the
procedure, she burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?" He asked.

"I was just envisioning how condoms are made."

(Gotta watch those little old ladies. Their minds are
always working.)

Next one is from Linda in Canberra. Thanks my friend.
It is good to have one friend in Canberra.


George Phillips, an elderly man, from Meridian,
Mississippi, was going up to bed, when his wife told
him he had left the light on in the garden shed, which
she could see from the bedroom window. George opened
the back door to go turn it off, but saw that there were
people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police,who asked, "Is someone in your
house?" He said "No, but some people are breaking
into my garden shed and stealing things from me."

Then the police dispatcher said, "All patrols are busy.
You should lock your doors and an officer will be along
when one is available." George said, "Okay."

He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he
phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there
were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't
have to worry about them because I just shot and killed
them both, the dogs are eating them up right now."
And he hung up.

Within five minutes, six Police cars, a SWAT team, two
fire trucks, a Helicopter, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance
showed up at the Phillips residence and caught the burglars

One of the Policeman said to George, "I thought you said
that you shot them."

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available."

(True story) Don't mess with old people.
Lastly a nice one from Mountain Wings. It is called
"Tell Them Now."
If with pleasure you are viewing
any work a man is doing, If you like him or you
love him, tell him now.

Don't withhold your approbation. 'till the parson
makes oration. And he lies with snowy lilies on his brow.
For no matter how you shout it, he really won't care about
it. He won't know how many teardrops you have shed.
So if some praise is due him, now's the time to slip it
to him. For he cannot read his tombstone when he's

More than fame and more than money is the comment
kind and sunny and the hearty warm approval of a
friend, For it gives to life a savor. And it makes you
stronger, braver, And it gives you heart and courage
to the end.
If he earns your praise, bestow it. If you like him,
let him know it. Let the words of true encouragement
be said. Do not wait 'till life is over
and he's underneath the clover. For he cannot read
his tombstone when he's dead. ~~Berton Braley.

Time to close and say Goodnight, and get me off to
bed and my electric blanket. Take good care of each
other and yourselves my friends.
I had a phone call from Peter to say he was flying down
to Victoria to his son Marcus' 50th birthday and was coming
to see me also which was wonderful news. BUT most of
the airports have cancelled most flights because of the
volcanic ash over New Zealand Sydney and Melbourne.
So I hope it clears up and flights will return.
Love and Best wishes to you all, Cheers, Merle.

Post 739 ~ ~ Sunday, 12th June, 2011.


Joy Des Jardins said...

Glad to see you're making such good progress Merle. Time will help you get back to normal...keep up the good work.

I just had a full physical a few days ago....everything seems to be running smoothly. Of course I need to work on losing's the bane of my existence of course.

Chilier days here lately, but I know we'll get hit with the 'hot' stuff again. Take care sweet friend.... Love, Joy

Gledwood said...

Hi Merle, I'm glad you're recovering well.

It's been raining all weekend here. But the authorities say we need weeks and weeks of constant rain, having had the driest spring (supposedly) since records began or some such crap. Just an excuse for yet another hose pipe ban this summer. They're saying if things don't improve it will be like 1976. I was 4 then but I STILL remember that year vividly. I remember walking through a blackened landscape where a huge heath fire had recently stopped burning. The ground was literally amping out heat. It was probably like a cool day in the outback...

... I once read a book set in Melbourne. I know you're 200 miles from there but you must surely get the same climate? This was written by a heroin addict who became a street prostitute and she said in January nighttime temperatures dipped down to ONE degree centigrade. Surely that cannot be true in Australia?!

What about all those poor redback and funnel web spiders? Surely they would die of frostbite in such conditions. As you probably know, what most whingeing Poms are most scared of in Australia is #1 the spiders and #2 the snakes!

I'm learning Japanese again. It's the only hobby I've found that ever made me centred. I can't explain why it does that, it just does. Strange, eh..??!!

Take care


jel said...

glad ya getting better each day! :)

hope your brother gets to visit!

and thank ya!
take care

ps. yes it has been hot here, and summers not here let!

Patty said...

Good evening Merle, almost supper/dinner time here. Even though it's Sunday, no big meal, just going to fix burgers and fries (I fix frozen fries in the oven). It's very cool today, compared to what we've been having. Temp right now is 68F compared to around 90F. Last Sunday we had a reunion and it was very warm and muggy. By the way I posted the photos on my Facebook, which you should be able to see, since you are a friend on there. Glad you've been improving. It pays to do what the doctors say. My Mom found that out when they replaced her knee a few years ago. Love the shoebox story, I guess I should have done that, I would have a small fortune by now. LOL Take care and keep up the good work with the exercising. Love, Patty

Winifred said...

Hello Merle

Haven't been blogging for a while. Back from holiday and lovely hot weather in Rhodes to rain & winter temperatures here. Might need my hot water bottle tonight, my feet are freezing. Never mind tomorrow is going to be lovely, so the forecast says!

Glad you are recovering and thank you for your wonderful post. The stories are so funny and what a lot of useful information too. Take care

Jim said...

Hi Merle ~~ This was an exceptionally nice blog post for me. I loved the jokes and riddles.

I am glad that your Physio is going well. I was sorry when my hand (Out of joint finger from a fall) therapy stopped. It was like going to a club. We all sat around during the therapy and talked. Sometimes we at as well.

John certainly did you good. My favorite from him was that "Your tongue is the only muscle in your body that is attached at only one end." The rest were good.

Re: how condoms are made ~~
Our nephew in Alabama used to work for a rubber glove factory. The line had gobs of plastic or wooden hands dangling from a chain-like cable.

It went around the room several times. At various places it would dip into molten latex and then rise to dry for a while, then dip again, etc.

Finally the plant closed the line and converted to a condom factory. You can guess how they were made! [Rember, "Gotta watch those little old (I call them LOL's) Their minds are always working."]

Don't mess with old people guy had it all figured out!

Sorry about the ash. That is getting to be a world-wide problem. Out daughter, Karen, got stranded in London for a week when the Iceland one went on a tear. Now she and the family are living and (she only) working in London.

We put our electric blanket away the end of March.

Pamela said...

volcanic ash. I guess I better check the news.

Hey... give Peter a hug from me!

Mountain Mama said...

I'm so glad you are doing well Merle. Praise the Lord!!
I always get a kick out of your jokes and especially like the 'don't mess with old people' ones since I am in that catagory.
Good job with the therapy. congratulations. I know it's hard work.
Take care dear. Hugs!

Big Dave T said...

Hi Merle. The weather here in Michigan is nice for a change, sunny and pleasant with temperatures in the 70s. I read recently that some of the most expensive places in the world to live are in Australia now. Hope that's not true where you live. Glad you see you're feeling better. Liked the jokes, and the interesting facts too. My wife recently had a package delivered and the ceramic planter inside was smashed. I think it was delivered by a kite.

Lady Di Tn said...

A very enjoyable post. I am so happy that you feel up to posting such delightful jokes and facts. The shoebox was a funny one and when I started reading I thought it would be a tear jerker. We have had the first pleasant day in about three weeks. I could actually sit on the back porch and not sweat. A gentle breeze was blowing so I figured it must have rained somewhere. Not on the hill and we sure could use some to soften the ground. Peace

Gigi Ann said...

Hi Merle,

I am so glad to hear you are improving, and glad you are doing your exercises.

The jokes put a smile on my face and made me chuckle a few times.

You know, I always forget that when we are having Spring and Summer, you are having Fall and Winter. Even though Summer is almost here, it is still a bit cool today, and a bit of rain an hour or two ago. I agree with you, I like staying in bed a little longer in cool weather. Enjoy your rest, and take care.

Dave said...

Glad you're doing well Merle!!! *Smile*

Loved the jokes... especially the first one!

Rob said...

Hi Merle, I'm pleased to read that you are still on the mend. Here in the UK the temps are ok but it is very dry as we haven't had any amount rain for a long time. I don't complain about that though as winter will once again be upon us all to soon so best make the most of the nice weather while we have it.

HORIZON said...

I've got the opposite problem to Rob (post above) rain, rain and more rain. There seems to be a clear divide this year between England and Scotland- a weather divide! England is suffering from lack of rain and we seem to have an abundance! We should sell it to them by the bucket load- and midgies too if they're interested ;)
Loved the post as always- Glad Peter is headed your way.
Enjoyed the facts from your son too- didn't know what google meant and so on.
Take care dear friend and continue to get well.
Sarah xx

audrey` said...

It's very reassuring to know that you're progressing very well. Well done, Merle :)

"The Shoebox" is so touching. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Take care, my dear friend (((HUGS)))
Love and blessings too :)