Post 749 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 14th August, 2011.
Hello My Friends ~~ I hope you are enjoying your lives and your health is
as good as is possible. I also hope the weather is to your liking.
It is quite nice here and the sun is shining so that brightens things quite
a bit. I am keeping well at present and hope that keeps up for a while.
I recently bought a few flowers at Bunnings, so I am sharing them here.
This one is called 'Poor Man's Orchid.' I forget the real name.
This is a very attractive 'Cyclamen' and is so healthy and nice.
Last one is an 'Asiatic Lily', getting past it's best, but is an unusual one.
The first item was sent by my dear friend, Lady Di. It is called
"Attitude" and a good one. Thank you Dianne.
There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror,
and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.
"Well," she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today."
So she did and she had a wonderful day.
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror
and saw that she only had two hairs on her head.
"H-m-m." she said, "I think I'll part my hair down the middle today."
So she did, and she had a grand day.
The next day she woke up.m looked in the mirror and noticed that
she only had one hair on her head.
"Well," she said, "today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail.
So she did, and she had a fun, fun day.
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and
noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head.
"YAY," she exclaimed, "I don't have to fix my hair today."
Attitude is everything.
Be kinder than necessary -- for everyone you meet is fighting
some sort of battle.
Live simply - - - - Love generously - - - -Care deeply
Speak kindly - - - -and pray continually.
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass
It's about learning to dance in the rain.
It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that
tells what kind of life you have lived.
Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
Love the people who treat you right,
and pray for the ones that don't.
One from Mountain Wings --One Question I.Q. test.
Here is a one question I.Q. test to help you decide how you should
spend the rest of your day.
There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush.
By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses
himself to the shop-keeper and the purchase is made.
Now if a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses,how should he
Think about it before scrolling down for the answer . . . .
He opens his mouth and says, "I would like to buy a pair of sunglasses."
If you got this wrong, please turn off your computer and call it a day.
I've got mine shutting down right now. (You know you missed it too, so
shut down your computer and take a rest.)
One from my friend Linda in Canberra. Thank you Linda.
Wiremu, a New Zealander, was on the dole in Australia but about to fly
home to watch the Rugby World Cup and was not feeling well.
So he decided to see a doctor.
"Hey doc, I don't feel so good." said Wiremu.
The doctor gave him a thorough examination and informed Wiremu that he
had long existing and advanced prostate problems and the only cure was
"No way, doc," replied Wiremu, "I'm getting a second opinion."
The second Aussie doctor gave Wiremu the same diagnosis and also advised
him that testicular removal was the only cure.
Not surprisingly, Wiremu refused the treatment.
Wiremu was devastated, but with the Rugby World Cup just around the
corner, he found an ex-pat Kiwi doctor and decided to get one last
opinion from someone he could trust.
The Kiwi doctor examined him and said, "Wiremu Cuzzy Bro, you have
Prostate suckness . . ."
"What's the cure then doc?" asked iremu hoping for a different answer.
"Wull, Wiremu," said the Kiwi doctor, "We'rre gonna huv to cut off your balls."
"Phew, thunk god for that." said Wremu. "Those Aussie b*****ds wanted
to take my test tickets off me."
Another from my friend Lady Di. The Stuttering Kitten. Thank you.
A teacher is explaining biology to her 3rd grade students. She says, "Human
beings are the only animals that stutter."
A little girl raised her hand saying, "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."
The teacher knowing how precious some of these stories could become
asked the little girl to describe the incident.
"Well,"she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the
Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we
knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard."
The teacher exclaimed, "That must have been scary."
The little girl said, "It sure was. My kitty raised her back, went 'Sssss,
Sssss' Sssss' and before she could say 'S**t' the Rottweiler ate her."
The teacher had to leave the room.
WHY GOD MADE MOMS. was sent from my friend, Barbara. Thank you.
Answers from 2nd grade school children.
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me, He just
used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God made mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything
nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly
used string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she liked me more than other people's mom like me.
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did your mom need to know about your father?
1.. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he
get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs
and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world and my mom likes
to eat a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who is the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to, because dad's
such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between moms and dads
1.Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power
because that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep-over st
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your Mom do with her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind
of plastic surgery.
1. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change anything, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did
it, not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
Well,, my friends I am tired tonight so will say Goodnight and sweet dreams.
Be kind to one another. My love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.
Post 749 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 14th August, 2011.