Sunday, August 14, 2011

Attitude.

Post 749 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 14th August, 2011.

Hello My Friends ~~ I hope you are enjoying your lives and your health is
as good as is possible. I also hope the weather is to your liking.
It is quite nice here and the sun is shining so that brightens things quite
a bit. I am keeping well at present and hope that keeps up for a while.
I recently bought a few flowers at Bunnings, so I am sharing them here.




This one is called 'Poor Man's Orchid.' I forget the real name.


This is a very attractive 'Cyclamen' and is so healthy and nice.


Last one is an 'Asiatic Lily', getting past it's best, but is an unusual one.

The first item was sent by my dear friend, Lady Di. It is called
"Attitude" and a good one. Thank you Dianne.

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror,
and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.
"Well," she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today."
So she did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror
and saw that she only had two hairs on her head.
"H-m-m." she said, "I think I'll part my hair down the middle today."
So she did, and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up.m looked in the mirror and noticed that
she only had one hair on her head.
"Well," she said, "today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail.
So she did, and she had a fun, fun day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and
noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head.
"YAY," she exclaimed, "I don't have to fix my hair today."

Attitude is everything.

Be kinder than necessary -- for everyone you meet is fighting
some sort of battle.

Live simply - - - - Love generously - - - -Care deeply

Speak kindly - - - -and pray continually.

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass
It's about learning to dance in the rain.

It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that
tells what kind of life you have lived.

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
Love the people who treat you right,
and pray for the ones that don't.
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One from Mountain Wings --One Question I.Q. test.

Here is a one question I.Q. test to help you decide how you should
spend the rest of your day.

There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush.
By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses
himself to the shop-keeper and the purchase is made.

Now if a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses,how should he
express himself?

Think about it before scrolling down for the answer . . . .





He opens his mouth and says, "I would like to buy a pair of sunglasses."

If you got this wrong, please turn off your computer and call it a day.

I've got mine shutting down right now. (You know you missed it too, so
shut down your computer and take a rest.)
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One from my friend Linda in Canberra. Thank you Linda.

Wiremu, a New Zealander, was on the dole in Australia but about to fly
home to watch the Rugby World Cup and was not feeling well.
So he decided to see a doctor.

"Hey doc, I don't feel so good." said Wiremu.

The doctor gave him a thorough examination and informed Wiremu that he
had long existing and advanced prostate problems and the only cure was
testicular removal.

"No way, doc," replied Wiremu, "I'm getting a second opinion."
The second Aussie doctor gave Wiremu the same diagnosis and also advised
him that testicular removal was the only cure.
Not surprisingly, Wiremu refused the treatment.

Wiremu was devastated, but with the Rugby World Cup just around the
corner, he found an ex-pat Kiwi doctor and decided to get one last
opinion from someone he could trust.

The Kiwi doctor examined him and said, "Wiremu Cuzzy Bro, you have
Prostate suckness . . ."
"What's the cure then doc?" asked iremu hoping for a different answer.

"Wull, Wiremu," said the Kiwi doctor, "We'rre gonna huv to cut off your balls."

"Phew, thunk god for that." said Wremu. "Those Aussie b*****ds wanted
to take my test tickets off me."
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Another from my friend Lady Di. The Stuttering Kitten. Thank you.

A teacher is explaining biology to her 3rd grade students. She says, "Human
beings are the only animals that stutter."

A little girl raised her hand saying, "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."
The teacher knowing how precious some of these stories could become
asked the little girl to describe the incident.

"Well,"she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the
Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we
knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard."

The teacher exclaimed, "That must have been scary."

The little girl said, "It sure was. My kitty raised her back, went 'Sssss,
Sssss' Sssss' and before she could say 'S**t' the Rottweiler ate her."

The teacher had to leave the room.
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WHY GOD MADE MOMS. was sent from my friend, Barbara. Thank you.

Answers from 2nd grade school children.

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.


How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me, He just
used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God made mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything
nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly
used string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she liked me more than other people's mom like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be
pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did your mom need to know about your father?
1.. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he
get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs
and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world and my mom likes
to eat a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who is the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to, because dad's
such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads
1.Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power
because that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep-over st
your friends.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your Mom do with her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind
of plastic surgery.
1. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.


If you could change anything, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did
it, not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
<><>

Well,, my friends I am tired tonight so will say Goodnight and sweet dreams.
Be kind to one another. My love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 749 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 14th August, 2011.
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15 comments:

Jan said...

Merle, your flowers are simply beautiful. They made me feel all cheerful, and fuzzy inside :)

The "attitude is everything" is perfect for my sister. I will share this with her because it sounds as though she will be having chemo.

Please be well, and happy~~~
Hugs, Jan

Patty said...

The first flower in the tea cup is a beauty. Nice post, lots of laughs. Hope you get a good nights sleep and rest and awaken feeling all new and ready to go.

Sue said...

Merle I laughed and Laughed, I told my husband, I must see if Merle posted Jokes, she always makes me laugh.
love the Blind Man joke, I failed as did my husband. LOL
Love you for being you.

Peter said...

Hi Merle, good to see you sounding cheerful.... that makes two of us!!!

Granny Annie said...

I too failed the blind man joke. Those subtle stories always get me. Loved the "Mom has to be in charge because dad's such a goofball." So.................funny, and true. Thanks Merle as always for a good start to my day.

Gina E. said...

Got plenty of chuckles as usual with these, but the one you emailed me about J.G. had me howling with laughter!!!

Rob said...

Hi Merle, thanks for showing some of your flowers, I like the lily. The sun is a good tonic I always think, it makes everything seem better.

Jim said...

Another very nice post here, Merle. I too just love they jokes you find!

Your flowers are pretty. I hope you don't get snow to wipe them out like they are having in New Zealand. Mrs. Jim didn't know what the Poor Man's orchid was but Google does (Schizanthus Pinnatus or butterfly flower).

I loved the two year old Q&A session, every bit of it! I'm still smiling ;).
Two goodies on attitue were:
1. It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.

2. Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
Love the people who treat you right,
and pray for the ones that don't.

Cheers,
..

Margaret Cloud said...

I like the flower in the tea pot, very pretty. This year has not been a good one for me trying to plant flowers, no green thumb here. I would say attitude is everything. I didn't get it either, he could talk, I don't have my thinking cap on today. These were funny and I thought the mom one was priceless. Have a nice week.

Anonymous said...

Merle--Beautiful flowers. Thanks for the photos. Even more, thanks for the guffaws. Laughter is a great medicine, even when we are already feeling well!
Cop Car

Lady Di Tn said...

Merle
Glad to hear you are having sunny weather as it always perks me up to see the sun shining. I would be hard pressed to pick which flower I like best and I would have gotten all three too. Thanks for sharing the emails and I must tell the truth, I would have failed the test but I had seen it before. I failed it the first time I saw it. hee hee. Kids always say the darnest things. Peace and wishing you enough Love

Merle said...

Hi Cop Car ~~Thanks for your comment and I am glad you liked my flowers and the jokes. I agree Laughter is the best medicine. Cheers, Merle.

Dave said...

Great post as always Merle, and BEAUTIFUL Flowers!!! *S*

Anonymous said...

Merle--Although this is not my first visit your way (this time via Ronni Bennett); but, it may well be the first time I've commented. It was sweet of you to look me up to assure that I got your reply. Keep us laughing.
Cop Car

audrey` said...

Wow! Your photos are so beautiful especially Cyclamen. Thank you for sharing them with us :)