Post 759 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 23rd October, 2011.
Hello My Friends ~ ~ These weeks go by so quickly, so here we are again.
I trust the world is treating you all right and your health is as well as
possible. Just at present i am feeling quite well, so hope that continues
for some time. My son Geoff and his wife Joanne came up from the
outskirts of Melbourne on Friday night and stayed most of Sunday here.
It was great to see them as it has been a while.
As usual, Geoff spent quite a while weeding and trimming up my garden,
so it all looks tidy and with quite a lot of flowers looking lovely I am most
grateful for all Geoff does as they are things I cannot do any more.
Jo helped too picking up the piles of grass etc for the bin, and washed
our dishes as she usually does. So thanks to them both.
John is still away this weekend but will be home tomorrow and I think
Fluff goes home then. I will miss her, but I do want to spread some snail
killer out among my young seedlings etc.
Today's first item is from Mountain Wings and is written by Jerri Ludlam
from Alabama and is called "It's gonna Be Alright."
Mahala (my six year old with Down Syndrome) and I went to the grocery
store this morning and as we entered, I noticed a lady in maybe about
her 60s and she was obviously upset over something.
I put Mahala in the buggy with her Teddy Bear and started shopping. As
I gathered a few things, I went to put a bag of potatoes in the buggy
and realized I was going to have to get Mahala out to make room.
As I put the potatoes in the buggy, I heard Mahala behind me. She had
walked up to the lady and said, "What's wrong Darlin'?" Then she hugged
the lady's legs and repeated, "What's wrong?" The lady knelt down and
said, "Nothing baby, I'm just a little upset." Then Mahala hugged her and
handed her bear to the lady and said, "Here, have my bear." Mahala then
walked back to our buggy.
In a few minutes, the lady approached us and gave Mahala back her bear and
thanked her. Mahala said, "You're welcome . . "it's OK Baby" Then the lady
said to me,"Can I talk to you for a moment?" I told her, of course
She said "I got a phone call this morning and my daughter's newborn
baby was tested for Down Syndrome. We won't have the results back
for two weeks. I couldn't understand how this terrible thing could happen
to us. God sent your daughter to let me know it is going to be OK.
Thank you for choosing today to get your groceries.?"
I got chill bumps all over ....I was speechless.!!
Now for some jokes. The first one was sent by my blogging friend, Jim.
It is called "The Longest Password." Thank you Jim.
We laugh -- but her I.D. is safe.
During a recent password audit by Google, it was found that a blonde
was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDewey
When asked why she had such a long password, she rolled her eyes
and said: "Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters long and include
at least one capital."
Next one came from my friend in Queensland, Lee. Thank you.
It is called "INNER PEACE."
If you can start your day without caffeine,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give
you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without alcohol,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs . . . . .
,,,, Then You Are Probably . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .The Family Dog !!!!
And you thought I was going to get all spiritual !!!
One from Pearly Gates called "Fred's Final Note."
Ol' Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in hospital, near death.
The family called their preacher to stand with them.
As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition seemed to
deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on.
The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol'
Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then suddenly died.
The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he
placed it in his jacket pocket.
At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realized that he
was wearing the same jacket as when Ol' Fred died. He said, "You
know Ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I am sure there's
a word of inspiration there for us all."
He opened the note and read, "Please step to your left - you're
standing on my oxygen tube."
"Better Than a Flu Shot" was sent by my friend Lady Di.
Thank you for this one Dianne.
Miss Beatrice, the church organist was in her eighties and had never
married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon, the pastor came to call on her and was shown into
her quaint sitting room.
She invited him to have a seat, while she made some tea. As he sat
facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a
cute glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water,
and of all things floated a condom.
When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The
pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and
it's strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could
no longer resist.
"Miss Beatrice," he said,I wonder if you would tell me about this?",
pointing to the bowl. "Oh, yes, isn't it wonderful?"
"I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found
this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it
on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the
spread of disease. Do you know, I have not had the flu all Winter?"
One from my friend Gina in Melbourne. Thanks Gina.
A beautiful fairy appeared one day to an asylum seeker claimant
outside the Christmas Island Centrelink Office.
"My good man," the fairy said, "I've been told by Julia Gillard to grant
you 3 wishes, since you have just arrived in Australia with your seven
children -- all costs to be borne to the Australian tax payers."
"Well in Sri Lanka where I come from, we don't have good teeth, so I
want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them."
The fairy looked st the man's almost toothless grin and - PING--
The Asylum seeker refugee claimant had a brand new shining set of
gold teeth in his mouth. "What else?" said the fairy, "2 more wishes."
The Asylum Seeker now got bolder.
"I want a big house with a 3 car garage on the Gold Coast with eight
bedrooms and a Gold Visa Card in each room - for my family and the
rest of my refugee relatives who still live in Sri Lanka.I want to bring
them all over her." -- PING --
In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a 3 car
garage, a long driveway, Patio with BBQ and a sparkling swimming
pool and a BMW plus all his nephews playing their music.
"One more left for you," said the fairy waving her wand.
The Asylum Seeker Refugee claimant really decided to go for broke
now and said, "I want to be Australian with Australian clothes instead
of the rags and shawl and I want to have white skin like Australians."
-- PING -- The man was transformed, wearing worn out Stubby
Shorts, a dirty Bonds T shirt and a terry towel hat.He had his bad teeth
back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon.
"What happened to my new teeth?" he wailed. "Where is my new
house? Where is my Visa Gold Card?" The fairy said, . . .
"Tough Luck. Now that you are Australian, you're entitled to
"Sweet Nothing", just like the rest of us."
Last one for this post. I have done it amid 3 loads of washing
mainly freshening up my summer gear. So I got to this earlier.
It is a Pearly Gates one called "Pete Died."
Mrs Pete Monaghan came into the newsroom to pay for her
husband's obituary. She was told by the kindly newsman that
it was a dollar a word, and he remembered Pete and wasn't
it sad about him passing away.
She thanked him for his kind words and bemoaned the fact
that she only had two dollars. But she wrote the obituary,
The newsman said he thought old Pete deserved more and
he would give her three more words.
Mrs Pete Monaghan thanked him and rewrote the obituary.
"Pete Died. Boat for sale."
Bye for now my friends. I have a few more jobs to do before
it gets dark. We had a great warm day 30C which is 86F
and I don't want it any warmer. Good for laundry, though.
Take good care of yourselves and each other my friends.
My love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.
Post 759 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 23rd October, 2011.