Post 758 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 16th October, 2011.
Hello again My Friends ~~ It is nice and sunny here today and has been
quite a bit warmer with no heater on the last few days. I hope the weather
is pleasant where you are and your lives are going well. I am doing fine at
present and hope you are, as well. I still have my little doggie, Fluff with
me, and I planted a few more seeds today - some beans and spring onions.
So I hope they grow into edible beans and onions.
The first item tonight was sent by my good friend Patricia and is called --
"The Rain". Thanks Patty it is a lovely story.
It was a busy morning about 8:30 when an elderly gentleman in his
80s arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb.
He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00am.
I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be
over an hour before someone could see him.
I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy
with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was
well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed
supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.
While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another
doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.
The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing
home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health.
He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a
victim of Alzheimer's Disease.
As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.
He replied that she so longer knew who he was, that she had not
recognized him in five years now.
I was surprised and asked him, "and you still go every morning,
even though she doesn't know who you are?"
He smiled as he patted my hand and said, - - -
"She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.
I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my
arm and thought - - - -
That is the kind of love I want in my life.
True love is neither physical nor romantic.
True love is an acceptance of all that is, Has been, will be, and
will not be.
The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything.
They just make the best of everything they have.
Life isn't about how to survive the storm,
but how to dance in the rain.
First joke tonight was a Pearly Gates one. "Drug Inspection."
A DEA (Drug Enforcement Administration) officer stops at a
ranch in Montana and talks with an old rancher.
He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally
The old rancher says, " Okay, but do not go in that field over
there," as he points to the location.
The DEA officer verbally explodes, saying, "Mister, I have the
authority of the federal government with me." Reaching into his
rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it
to the farmer. "See this badge? This badge means I am allowed
to go wherever I wish, on any land. No questions asked or
answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?"
The old rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his
chores. A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams
and sees the DEA officer running for his life, chased close behind by
the rancher's prize bull.
With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems
likely he'll get "horned" before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly
The old rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence, and yells
at the top of his lungs, "Your badge. Show him your badge."
My son John sent me the next one called "Grandparents." Thanks.
The following were taken from papers by a class of 8 year olds.
WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT?
Grandparents are a lady or a man who have no little children
of their own. They like other peoples.
A grandfather is a man and a grandmother is a lady.
Grandparents don't have to do anything except be there when we
come to see them. They are so old they shouldn't play hard or run.
It is good when they drive us to the shops and give us money.
When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like
pretty leaves or caterpillars.
They show us and talk to us about the colors of the flowers and
also why we shouldn't step on cracks.
They don't say "Hurry up."
Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.
They wear glasses and funny underwear.
They can take their teeth and gums out.
Grandparents don't have to be smart.
They have to answer questions like, "Why isn't God married?
and "How come dogs chase cats?"
When they read to us, they don't skip. They don't mind if we
ask for the same story over again.
Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you
don't have television, because they are the only grownups who
like to spend time with us.
They know we should have snacks before bedtime and they say
prayers with us and kiss us even if we have been bad.
My grandmother lives at the airport and when we want her,
we just go get her. Then when we are done having her visit,
we just take her back to the airport.
Grandpa is the smartest man on Earth. He teaches me good
things, but I don't get to see him enough to be as smart as him.
My dear friend Margaret in Q'ld sent me the next two jokes.
Thank you Margaret.
The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very
upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.
She asked, "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?"
Maria said, "Well Senora, there are 3 reasons why I wanna
increase. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?"
Maria: "Your husband he say so."
Wife: "Oh yeah?"
Maria: "The second reason is that I cook better than you."
Wife: "Your husband did."
Wife increasingly agitated, "Oh, he did did he?"
Maria: "The third reason is that I am better than you in bed."
Wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth, "And did my
husband say that?"
Maria: "No Senora . . . . . The gardener did."
Wife: "So how much do you want?"
My One Day of Employment.
So after landing my new job as a Woolworths greeter, a good
find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day. . . . .
About two hours into my first day on the job, a very loud, and
unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her
two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, "Good morning and
welcome to Woolworths. Nice children you have there. Are they
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell, no
they ain't twins. The oldest ones is 9, and the other one is seven.
Why the hell would you think they were twins? Are you blind, or
So I replied, "I am neither blind nor stupid Ma'am, I just couldn't
believe someone shagged you twice.. Have a good day and thank
you for shopping at Woolworths."
My supervisor said I was probably not cut out for this line of work.
Last one tonight came from my good friend Lady Di. It is called
Lawn Care. Thank you Dianne.
Two blondes were sipping their Starbucks when a truck went past
loaded up with rolls of sod.
I'm going to do that when I win the lottery," announced Blonde 1.
"Do what?" asked Blonde 2.
"Send out my lawn to be mowed." replied Blonde 1.
Well enough for tonight, I hope you found something of interest
and maybe a smile or two. Take great care dear friends and
enjoy your lives. Be kind to each other. My love and best wishes
to you all. Cheers, Merle.
Post 758 ~ ~ Sunday, 16th October, 2011.