Sunday, February 19, 2012

A Real Education.

Post 768 ~~ Sunday, 19th February, 2012.

Hello My Friends ~~ Here goes for another post of sorts. I hope
that you are all keeping well and enjoying your lives. I am going
all right and getting a few small jobs done, but get tired very
easily. I still have physio twice a week, so hope it is helping.

I will get straight on to the first item sent by my New Zealand
cousin Karyn. Thanks Karyn for "A real Education".

Where did "piss poor" come from?
Us older people need to learn something new every day...
Just to keep the grey matter tuned up.
Where did "Piss Poor" come from? Interesting History.
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used
to all pee in a pot, and once it was full it was taken and sold
to the tannery.... If you had to do this to survive, you were
"Piss poor"
But worse than that were the really poor who couldn't even
afford to buy a pot. They "didn't have a pot to piss in" and were
the lowest of the low.

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because
the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how
things used to be.

Here are some facts about the 1500's.
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly
bath in May and still smelled pretty good by June. However, since
they were starting to smell, brides carried a bouquet of flowers
to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a
bouquet of flowers when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the
house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other
sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of
all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually
lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out
with the bath water."

Houses had thatched roofs- thick straw- piled high with no wood
underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm so all
the cats and other small animals(mice, bugs) lived in the roof.

When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals
would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying, "It's raining
cats and dogs."

There was nothing to stop things from falling in to the house.
This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other
droppings could mess up your nice clean bed.
Hence a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the to gave
some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than
dirt. Hence the saying "Dirt Poor." The wealthy would have
slate floors that would get slippery. In the winter, when wet.
they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their
footing. As winter wore on, they added more thresh until
when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside.
A piece of wood was placed in the entrance way. Hence : a
thresh hold.
Getting quite an education aren't you?

In those old days they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle
that always hung over the fire.. Every day they lit the fire and
added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did
not get much meat. hey would eat the stew for tea leaving
leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over
the next day. Sometimes the stew had food in it for quite a
while. Hence the rhyme : Peas porridge hot, peas porridge
cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old."

Sometimes they could obtain pork which made them feel quite
special. When visitors came over, they would hang up the
bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth if a man could,
'bring home the bacon." They would cut a little off to share
with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat.

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with a
high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto food
causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with
tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were
considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt
bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle and guests got
the top or upper crust.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination
would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days.
They would be prepared for burial, but were laid out on the
kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather
around and eat and drink and wait to see if they would wake
up. Hence the custom; "of holding a wake."

England is old and small and the local folks started running out
of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and
would take the bones to a bone-house and reuse the grave.
Then re-opening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found
to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they
had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on
the wrist of the corpse and tie it to a bell.

Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night
(the graveyard shift) to listen for the bell, thus someone
could be saved "by the bell." or was "considered a dead
ringer." And that's the truth.

Now who ever said History was boring?
<><>
Now for some jokes, some of that was scary.
First one from my dear friend Jeanette. Thank you Jan
for "Senior Dating."

Dorothy and Edna, two senior widows are talking.

Dorothy: That nice George Johnson asked me for a date. I know
you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk to you before
I gave him my answer.

Edna: Well I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually
at 7 PM dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings
me such beautiful flowers. Then he takes me downstairs and
what;s there, but a luxury car. A Limousine, uniformed chauffeur
and all. He takes me out for dinner, a marvelous dinner, then we go
to see a show. Let me tell you Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much, I
could have died with pleasure.

So then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into
an ANIMAL. Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress
and has his way with me two times.

Dorothy: Goodness gracious. So are you telling me I shouldn't go
out with him?

Edna: No, no, no... I'm just saying, wear an old dress.
<><>

One from my friend Warren. Thanks Mate for "The Robot."

John was a salesman's delight, when it came to any kind of
unusual gimmicks. His wife Martha had long ago given up trying
to change him.

One day John came home with another of his unusual purchases.
It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector.

At 5.30 that afternoon, his 11 year old son, Tommy, returned
home from school, two hours late.

"Where have you been? Why are you 2 hours late getting home?
"Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit
project" said Tommy.

The robot walked around the table and slapped Tommy knocking
him completely out of his chair.

"Son", this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really
were after school?"

"We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie." "What did
you watch ?" asked his mother Marsha.

"The Ten Commandments."
The robot went around to Tommy and once again, slapped him
knocking him off his chair.

With his lip quivering, Tommy got up and sat down and said,
"I am sorry I Lied. We really watched a tape called "Girls, Girls."

"I am ashamed of you son," said John. "When I was your age
I never lied to my parents."

The robot walked around to John and delivered a whack that
knocked him out of his chair.

Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears, and said, "Boy,
did you ever ask for that one. You can't be too mad at Tommy.
After all, he is your son."

The robot walked around to Marsha and knocked her off her chair.
<><>

One from Mountain Wings called "Billing."

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.

Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing
their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.

After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer,
"What do you do to stop people from asking for legal advice
when you are out of the office?"

"I give it to them" replied the lawyer and then I send them a bill."

The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.
The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.

When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.
<><>

Another one from Warren. Thanks for "Senior Citizens."
Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable
deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary. We know we take
responsibility for all we have done, and do not blame others.

However, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT
senior citizens who took :

The MELODY out of music,

The PRIDE out of appearance,

The COURTESY out of driving,

The ROMANCE out of love,

The COMMITMENT out of marriage.

The RESPONSIBILITY out of parenthood,

The TOGETHERNESS out of family,

The LEARNING out of education,

The SERVICE out of patriotism,

The GOLDEN RULE from rulers,

The NATIVITY scene out of cities,

The CIVILITY out of behavior,

The REFINEMENT out of language,

The DEDICATION out of employment,

The PRUDENCE out of spending,

The AMBITION out of achievement or GOD out of government
and schools.

And we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated PATIENCE
and TOLERANCE from personal relationships and interactions
with others.

And we do understand the meaning of Patriotism, and remember
those who fought and died for our country. Just look at the Senior
Citizens with tears in their eyes as they stand at attention with
their hand over their hearts on Remembrance Day.

YES, I AM A SENIOR CITIZEN !!

I'm the life of the party.. even if it lasts until 8 p.m.

I 'm sure everything I can't find is in a safe secure place somewhere.

I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy and that's just my left leg.

I'm beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps.

I am very good at opening childproof caps ... with a hammer.

Yes, I'm a Senior Citizen and I think I am having the time of my life.
<><>;

Enough for now folks. Take great care of yourselves and each other.
My love and best wishes to you all. I treasure your friendship.
Cheers, Merle.

Post 768 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 19th February, 2012.
<><><>


10 comments:

Granny Annie said...

Wow Merle you gave us enough enjoyment to last until next Sunday. I am afraid all of our buckets and containers go to put feed and water in for the goats and chickens so we still don't have a "pot to piss in". I read in my book of remedies from the 1900's that if you hold a match to the "greater toe" of the deceased and the toe does not blister then the person is indeed dead.

Dave said...

Glad you're still doing well Merle!

Incredible post the first one... learned a lot from it!

Lady Di Tn said...

Sounds like you are perking right along with the exercise. Mimi still does hers every day but complains that it takes most of her day to do them. She will be 93 in a couple of months. Loved the Senior Citizen one. Peace and here is wishing you enough dear one.

Big Dave T said...

Keep up your exercises. My uncle just got home from a week in the hospital and he could use some physiotherapy, I hear. He's going to be 84 this year.

I liked your jokes and stories as always. I was just thinking about peas, porridge, hot; peas porridge cold . . . the other day. Our ancestors had it tough; I can still remember my grandparents being quite frugal. They had gardens and canned fruits and vegetables. One of my grandfathers even made his own wine.

Jim said...

I learned a lot tonight, Merle! They were all so good and most again were new to me.
Aren't the robots getting smart these days! You were heavy on the seniors too. MOST is true but then we deserve it, especially the good parts.
I really like where all those sayings came from. They were the best!

I have stopped my therapy as it doesn't seem to change much now and I can do the exercises at home or at our fitness center at the club. My back hurts the worst after sitting in the Lazy Boy recliner.
Cheers,
..

Gina E. said...

Hi Merle, good to see a full post from you again! Love that one about seniors...I was talking to a friend today about the changing meaning of words, and how I hate the new meaning of gay. To describe someone as gay used to mean they were happy and smiling. How on earth did that change into something so....um. different...
(zip your lips Gina)

Theanne said...

oh my...this post almost got by me Merle...I hadn't seen you at the top of my list in a while checked and discovered you'd posted on the 19th, I'm so relieved. Great jokes...so happy you're feeling somewhat better!

Patty said...

Loved the history lesson. The wind at the moment is blowing like crazy, suppose to have a drop in temp and some snow by this evening. I guess the doctor is finally sending me for an MRI to see if anything is pinched in my back and to see just what is going on. Doctor also took me off the muscle relaxer and gave me something called Tramadol for the back. Isn't it fun growing old? Although I've been complaining about my back for sometime, guess I just haven't been complaining loud enough. LOL

Well almost lunch time here, not sure what I will be fixing, if Abe weren't here, I would grab any old left overs in the frig, but he sometimes doesn't care much for them. At the moment I have some meat loaf, pork roast, mashed potatoes and gravy, plus left over salad from last evening supper.Also brownies I had made for dessert last evening. So there is plenty of items to eat, but if he will or not is another question all together. LOL Tonight will be a quick supper, hamburgers and french fries. Granddaughter says she loves Grandma's burgers. I use the frozen french fries that go in the oven to bake.

Glad you seem to be getting along quite well, hope it continues. Take care and have a wonderful week-end. Don't over do things.

audrey` said...

I'm so happy that you're feeling much better now though tired easily. Take care (((HUGS))) Merle :)

Kat said...

Lovely blog! Enjoyed reading your jokes and quotations! I'm a senior citizen too and couldn't agree more with you than the truisms you listed out.