Sunday, April 22, 2012

ONE FLAW IN WOMEN.

Post  778  ~ ~ ~  Sunday  22nd  April,  2012.

Hello my Friends ~~ I am late starting this tonight, and then I find Blogger has changed for the better of course.  I am not even sure this will postfor me and I couldn't load a photo, so I for one preferred the old method which I have used for nearly 7 years happily, but may have to retire if this doesn't work.

I hope all is well with you all and that life is good and you and your family are happy.  I am feeling great  - or I was before I came here.  I only have a very sore toe, which we don't know what the problem is, but the podiatrist says that it is not an ingrown toenail, so I am happy about that.  So I am soaking it in salt water twice a day which makes it sorer for a while.
Otherwise I am doing very well and feeling better than I have for months.

My brother Peter has a good post for ANZAC day which is our  Remembrance Day
Most of you know he is at holtieshouseblogspot,com/. Pop over to read the poem.
ANZAC Day is Wednesday 25th April, so I hope the day is fine for the marchers and people attending daybreak services.  LEST WE FORGET.

The title first  sent by my good friend Barbara called "ONE FLAW IN WOMEN" Thanks Barbara.

God doesn't give you the people you want. He gives you the people you NEED.

To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be.

Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.


They don't take 'no' for an answer
when they believe there is a better answer.


They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.


They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.


They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.


Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.

Women have vital things to say
and everything to give,

HOWEVER, IT THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
<><>

Now to find some jokes. One from my good friend Robyn a while back. Thanks Robyn.
I will call it  "The  Strange  Sound."


A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the
monastery, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down. Do you think I could
stay the night.

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man
tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard,
The next morning, he asks the monks  what the sound was, but they say, We can't tell
you because you're not a monk.

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway, and goes about his merry way.  Some
years later,, the same man breaks down at the same monastery. The monks again accept
him, feed him and even fix his car.


That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing  sound that he had heard years earlier.
The next morning, he asks what the sound is.

We can't tell you because you are not a monk.

The man says, all right, all right, I'm dying to know.
If the only way I can find out what that sound is to become a monk, so how do I become
a monk?

The monks reply, you must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there
are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers you will be a monk.

The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says I have travelled the earth and devoted my life to the task
demanded and have found what you asked for. There are 371,145,236,284,232 blades
of grass and  231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.

The monks reply, congratulations, you are correct, and you are now considered a monk.
We shall show you the way to the sound. The monks lead him to a wooden door, where the head monk says the sound is beyond that door.

The man reaches the knob, but the door is locked. He asks, May I have the key?

The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door there is 
another door made of stone. The man requests the key. The monks give him the key
and he opens it to find a door made out . He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. And soit went on
until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz and amethyst.


Finally the monks say  This is the key to the last door.


The man is relieved to be at the end.  He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind
that door he is astonished to find the source of that strange sound. It is truly an amazing
and unbelievable sight.

But I can't tell you what it is because you are not a monk!!!!
<><>

A Mountain Wings Item called "How to Bathe a cat"

!.  Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2.  Lift both lids and add shampoo.

3. Find cat and soothe it as you carry it to the bathroom.

4.  In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids and stand on top so cat can't escape.

5.  The cat will self agitate and produce ample suds. Ignore ruckus from inside toilet, the cat is enjoying this.

6  Flush toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides power rinse which is quite effective.


7.  Have someone open outside door, stand as far from toilet as possible and open both lids.


8 Clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and outside where he will air-dry.


Sincerely,, THE  DOG.
<><>

A couple of Lady Di's Idiot sightings. Thanks Dianne.

I handed the teller at my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00 and I said,"May I have large bills please"

She looked at me and said, "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."

When I got up from the floor I explained it to her.....
<><>

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our  car, we were
told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service area and found a mechanic
working feverishly to unlock the driver side door.  As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was unlocked.  "Hey,"  I announced
to the technician, "It's open."

His reply, "I know, I already got that side."  This was at the Ford  dealership in Canton,MS.
<><>

Well it is time to see if this will post -- I sure hope so as it is late and I have to get to bed.
Take good care of each other my friends, Tell the people you love how much you care/
Have some fun and joy in your lives. My love to you all, Cheers, Merle.

Post  778  ~ ~ ~ Sunday  22nd  April,  2012.
<><><>  











 





9 comments:

Patty said...

Good morning Merle, Once again, some good ones. i especially like the one about the one flaw in women, which is so true. And also like the car dealership. Sounds about right.

Almost time to fix a bite of lunch. Grilled cheese, Granddaughter loves them. Supper/dinner will be a pork roast, sauerkraut, mashed potatoes and apple/raisin salad.

May 14th Abe is suppose to go in for another aneurysm repair, this time they are going to try doing it through the artery. He's not a good candidate for surgery where they have to open him. I'm still seeing the arthritis doctor.

Hope all is well with you. Take care, Love, Patty

Lady Di Tn said...

Merle
Glad to hear the news about the toe. Sounds like it is slowly getting better. I thought I would fall over laughing when I read about how to wash the cat. I agree with the story, we do tend to forget our Worth. Wishing you enough. Peace and love

Granny Annie said...

I needed that Woman's Worth story today. Thanks!

Now I'm off to grab a cat and try the amazing bath suggestion. LOL

I'm pretty sure Dianne's jokes were originally blonde jokes but she was kind enough not to discriminate. Good ones!

Granny Annie said...

Had to come back and tell you how happy I was to see you on my roller blog today. I have not been able to add your blog and so I guess when you were changed to the new system, it added you where I wanted you. Yeah! So new is not all bad.

Gledwood said...

I think there's a lot of people I need who I haven't got... know what I mean?

O yeah Merle I forgot to tell you I now have a NEW BLOG at

gledwood4.blogspot.com

do drop by!

Anonymous said...

the monk joke had me hooked...so I guess I'll be counting blades of grass and pebbles (don't think I have 45 years though);-)

the cat joke had me ROFLMAO! ;-)

but the car lock joke...for real? this actually happened?

love ya Merle...great jokes...hope your toe starts feeling better!

Big Dave T said...

I'm with you on this new Blogspot. I might retire too. Uploading pictures is one of the main reasons I keep a blog and if I can't do that . . .

That mean dog, giving instructions on how to bathe a cat.

Hope your toe feels better. I hate these phantom pains that come from nowhere and hang around. Part of getting older I guess.

Karen said...

Darn dog... LOL ;-) Yes, I'm a cat person!!

I loved the strengths of women, those were really awesome and so true!

I hope you are doing well, my friend. You are always in my thoughts and prayers. I miss our chats but understand how difficult it is for you to sit at the computer too long. It's difficult for me as well although I have my iPad, I still find myself tiring easily. However, I love you to bits and nothing will ever change that!

audrey` said...

I prefer the old blogger format too :)