Monday, October 15, 2012

The Other Woman.

Post  804 ~ ~ ~ Sunday,  14th  October,  2012.

Hello my Friends ~~ Well I just lost this part of my post, by deleting one thing I thought, but no they took the lot. Just because I am very late starting tonight, now it's 11 pm.
So will try to remember what I typed.  I have had lots of visitors, which I enjoy a lot, but these days find it hard to cope and get very tired, then I sleep. Oh well !!!

First I went shopping with my carer and that always makes me tired. Next day my care worker Rowena came for an hour and is aiming to get me more home care, and also shopping time.  She wants me to ring a local supermarket to get heavy things delivered
but apart from 4 bottles of lemonade a fortnight, which we both cope with, this kind lady
said get a carton of lemonade delivered and that will save time with the extra hour to shop,
says you could have a cup of coffee with my carer and sit and enjoy shopping time. I felt
like asking if one is meant to enjoy life at this stage.  So maybe Leonie can have coffee, I only drink water and lemonade.  And i will try to enjoy the experience.!!!

Later that day my cousins with a nearly new motor home have spent a week at Numurkah
close to Shepparton, so always call to see me when they are in the area. I am 8 months
older than David and when we were kids I used to smartly say "I'm older than you". Now he met me at the door and said " I'm younger than you"  So the world turns. We had holidays
with our families when I was 12 and slightly superior to him at 11, Pet 10 and his brother
John was 9 and his sister about 5.  Their motor home is wonderful, has everything you could want, bed of course, shower and toilet, fridge, oven and hot plates, sink and seats
is front to watch TV or the front seats turn around to get to the driver's seat.

Next day more cousins rang and said we will be up for an appointment to the Shepparton
hospital about noon.  So I got up and got ready, but left my electric blanket on thinking after they go, I will get back for an hour or so. BUT they stayed until nearly 4 pm so it  was too late to go back to bed.  Don't get me wrong I enjoy all these visits and everyon says I look and move around much better.  Gordon had plastic surgery to remove a cancer from the top of his ear and as he is on warfarin he had to go to our hospital to get the dressing changed  He had a patch of skin taken from his neck to put on the ear.He is 81  and I told him he has got taller.  Big joke, I know I have shrunk.

Well I had to talk and play with Fluff, and try to catchup on replies to my comments, which I will do tomorrow, as I think everyone has been and gone.
I hope you are all well and happy with your lives. My friend I have known since he was 12
managed to call twice in that time, Today and one wet day as he prunes fruit trees, and now has a break before he starts to pick fruit.  So it has been full on fun.

Phyll and Gordon brought a shepherd's pie and apple strudel for lunch, and she did all the cutting and serving and always makes their cups of tea, so I stand by my walker and get spoiled.  Yesterday, my grand-daughter Krissy the beauty therapist from Denilquin where she lives with her sister Kate with the cafe which is doing very well and her partner, rang to
say she was on her way to visit and stay overnight.  A friend from nearby picked her up to go to the Shepparton Show, and for years anyone who goes to the Show ia asked to bring me Fairy Floss, so they did and came in later and we had a nice chat. 

Well it is time to find some stories and jokes for you, and try not to delete ANYTHING.
First one comes from Mountain Wings and is called "The Other Woman." Nice  story.


The Other Woman
================

After 21 years of marriage, I discovered a new way of keeping
alive the spark of love.

A little while ago, I went out with another woman.
It was really my wife's idea.

"I know you'll love her," she said one day, taking me by
surprise.
"But I love YOU too," I protested.
"I know, but you also love her."

The other woman who my wife wanted me to visit was my mother who
had been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my
three children had made it possible to visit her only
occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a
movie. "What's wrong, are you well," she asked?

My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night
call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.

"I thought that it would be pleasant to pass some time with
you."
I responded, "Just the two of us."  She thought about it for a
moment and then said, "I would like that very much."

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up, I was a
bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she,
too, seemed to be nervous about our date.

She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her
hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate
her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was
as radiant as an angel's.

"I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and
they were impressed," she said, as she got into the car.
"They can't wait to hear about our meeting."

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very
nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First
Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes
could only read large print.

Halfway through the entree, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting
there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.
"It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were
small," she said.

"Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor,"
I responded.

During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation, nothing
extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other's
life. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we
arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you
again, but only if you let me invite you."

I agreed.
"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home.

"Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined,"
I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack.

It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do
anything for her. Some time later, I received an envelope with
a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I
had dined. An attached note said:

"I paid this bill in advance. I was almost sure that I couldn't
be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates; one for you
and the other for your wife.

You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you."

At that moment I understood the importance of saying, in time:
"I LOVE YOU" and to give our loved ones the time that they
deserve.

Nothing in life is more important than God and your family.

Give them the time they deserve because these things cannot be
put off until "some other time."

~Author Unknown~
<><> 

My friend Linda sent this next one. I shuddered reading it, but it's not too bad.  Thank you Linda.
                    
Subject: Trivia question... How did Bangkok get its name....
 
Here is the honest answer!!

HOW DID I LIVE ALL THESE YEARS WITHOUT KNOWING THIS?

THE KINGDOM OF THAILAND

 
I'll bet you never knew this!!!       

In the original native culture of Thailand, when males reached the age of 18 they had to participate in the following community ceremony:-

They lay themselves stark naked in a large circle, feet facing inward.  A beautiful young naked girl kneels over the ankles of each the men.

She places a blob of honey and various crushed sweet fruits around his navel to attract flies and insects. 

(This keeps them off his face during the ceremony)

A specially chosen nubile and very beautiful naked girl then does a sexy and sensuous dance in the centre of the circle.

As soon as all the men become fully aroused and develop erections, the kneeling girls then reach over the knees, pull the fully erected penises downwards as much as they can and then on a given signal from the centre dancer release them.         

The men's penises would then spring back up and go "WHAP!" against their belly buttons.  

This exercise was a measurement of the strength of their masculinity . . .the man who killed the most flies was elected to the court of the King. 

And that folk's is why the current capital of Thailand came to be named Bangkok. 
 <><>
 My friend Lee has sent me lots of jokes, but most have pictures
that I haven't bothered to transfer. First one "Old Timer's Hospital Stay".  Thank you Lee.
Jim was an old man.
He was sick and in the hospital.
There was one nurse that just drove him crazy.
Every time she came in, she would talk to him like he was a little child.
She would say in a patronizing tone of voice,
’And how are we doing this morning'
,

Or
'Are we ready for a bath',
Or
'Are we hungry  ?'
Old Jim had had enough of this particular nurse.
One day, at breakfast,
Old Jim took the apple juice off the tray
And put it in his bed side stand.
Next, he was given a urine bottle to fill for testing.
So you know where the juice went !

The nurse came in a little later, picked
Up the urine bottle and looked at it.
'My, it seems we are a little cloudy today. '
At this, Old Jim snatched the bottle
Out of her hand, popped off the top,
And
 drank it down, saying,
'Well, I'll run it through again.
Maybe I can filter it better this time.'
The nurse fainted
Old Jim just smiled

DON'T MESS  WITH  'OLD'  PEOPLE
<><>
 Another from Lee - Looking for the Hereafter.  Thanks   Lee.....
Jim was an old man.
He was sick and in the hospital.
There was one nurse that just drove him crazy.
Every time she came in, she would talk to him like he was a little child.
She would say in a patronizing tone of voice,
’And how are we doing this morning'
,

Or
'Are we ready for a bath',
Or
'Are we hungry  ?'
Old Jim had had enough of this particular nurse.
One day, at breakfast,
Old Jim took the apple juice off the tray
And put it in his bed side stand.
Next, he was given a urine bottle to fill for testing.
So you know where the juice went !

The nurse came in a little later, picked
Up the urine bottle and looked at it.
'My, it seems we are a little cloudy today. '
At this, Old Jim snatched the bottle
Out of her hand, popped off the top,
And
 drank it down, saying,
'Well, I'll run it through again.
Maybe I can filter it better this time.'
The nurse fainted
Old Jim just smiled

DON'T MESS  WITH  'OLD'  PEOPLE
<><>

One from Pearly Gates called  "Heavenly Marriage."


Here is today's PearlyGates item.
Heavenly Marriage

On their way to get married, a young couple was involved in a fatal car accident. The two found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates, waiting
for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up,
they asked him. 

St. Peter said, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out," and he left. 

The couple sat and waited for an answer for a couple of months. While they waited, they discussed that IF they were allowed to get married in Heaven,
SHOULD they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all. "What if it doesn't work?" they wondered. "Are we stuck together forever?"

After yet another month, St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informed the couple, "you can get married in Heaven." 

"Great!" said the couple. "But we were just wondering what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" 

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard to the ground. 

"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple. 

"OH, COME ON!!!" St. Peter shouted, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it will take me to find a
lawyer?"
<><> 

 Last one tonight, another from PearlyGates


Here is today's PearlyGates item.
In Flight Announcement

A plane took off from Louisville International Airport, and when it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain started his announcements
over the intercom. 

"Ladies and gentleman, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 254, nonstop from Louisville to Miami. The weather ahead is good and we
expect a smooth and uneventful flight. So just sit back and relax - OH NOOOOOOOO!"

Silence followed for several minutes. 

Finally the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry for the earlier scare. While I was talking, the flight
attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled it in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

Back in coach, a passenger said to the person next to him, "That's nothing! He should see the back of mine!"

*The PearlyGates list features material that Pastor Tim thinks is funny but would probably generate emotionally fuelled feedback if sent to his other
more general and family safe lists. He knows the jokes are theologically, politically, and/or socially incorrect and he’s ok with that. And yes, he
would tell these jokes to his mother, his children and even his church in certain public speaking situations where he is called pastor for reasons
other than the jokes he tells.

-----------------

Well it is officially Monday morning here, so that is quite enough. Take great care dear friends and look after one another and yourselves. Love and best wishes to you all.
Cheers Merle.

Post  804 ~ ~  Sunday,  14th  October,  2012.
<><><>  
 

13 comments:

Gledwood said...

HI Merle I just dropped by to say hello.

I have lost entire posts more than once. I have got into the habit of highlighting and saving to ctrl+C, or constantly pressing the save button at the top of posts.

Hope you're OK ;-)

Granny Annie said...

When I read the rest of your post and got to the part about the old guy getting tot he nurse with his urine specimen I had to go back to your comment, "I only drink water and lemonade. And i will try to enjoy the experience.!!!" So there's an idea on how you can enjoy the experience. Drink out of a specimen jar. LOL

Lee said...

That's frustrating when that happens, Merle...losing some of what you've written! Next time you go into my blog you'll see its appearance has changed. On Saturday I decided, for reasons unknown to even me, to change the template and while doing so, I lost every comment everyone has made on blog since I started it back in 2006!!!!

Everything I've written throughout the years...all my posts are there, but I've lost everyone's generous comments! And I'm not a very happy chappy about that!! But I doubt there's much I can do about it. From now on, I'm going to back up my blog.

You have been a busy lady, Merle. Why don't you do your supermarket shopping online? That would make things so much easier for you, I'm sure.

Take good care of yourself...and don't deny yourself those naps...you have only yourself to answer to...your time is your own. :) Hugs.

audrey` said...

Hi Merle :) I'm sorry to know that an entire post was deleted by mistake earlier. It's one of those funny computer tricks.

YES! You're loved by so many people. You've a very lovely and meaningful week with so many visitors.

Take care, my dearest friend. Love and (((HUGS)))

Mountain Mama said...

HI Merle. I tried to leave you a comment but it disappeared so here we go again. Just want to say I'm glad you are doing well and get rested up. Take care.

Lady Di Tn said...

Merle
The bloggin Monster strikes again. He ate your post and did not even say "Sorry." I think the Don't mess with old people was a hoot and the others made me smile too. Thanks for sharing the funny stories with us. I am glad to hear you are a very Popular Lady. But it is good to be quiet sometimes. Peace

Gina E. said...

You must be a very special lady to be loved by so many people, Merle. It is more than just luck to be surrounded by so much love and support, although having children and many cousins multiply the effect! And being in the country has a lot to do with it I'm sure. Living in capital cities seems to keep families apart rather than together. I rarely see my brothers although they only live a few miles away. They are 'busy' with their work and families all the time...

Gina E. said...

Forgot to mention above; I printed off the grandparents and children's item from your previous post, and took it with me when we visited Ken's Mum. As I read them all out to her, she laughed until she had tears rolling down her face! I gave it to one of the staff carers because she wants to read it out to the other residents!

Genskie said...

very interesting and entertaining post.. you have a lot of stuff in store for your readers :)

_genskie_

Peter said...

Hi Merle, you have certainly been busy of late, glad to hear you are keeping well and friends and rellies are keeping in touch.

Dave said...

Great jokes Merle.... and so glad the family keeps stopping over! Its' nice to have visitors isn't it! *S*

Jim said...

Nice post, Merle. You recovered it all rather nicely.

I'm liking all the company you have been having maybe as much as you are. I am jealous of course because I don't have a lot of visits with my family. We did have a get-to-gether at a Mexican restaurant just before we left for London (this Tuesday) to visit our youngest, Karen, and her family.

It is nice too that you can talk and play with Fluff. I take it John is out on his cycle again.

I liked your Bancock joke a lot but please don't tell anyone. The pilot spilling his coffee was next best for me. They all were excellent!!!
Cheers,
..

Jim said...

Oh, next time when you lose something you are putting on your blog, try "Control" "Z" to get it back. That works about 80% of the time for me.
Hope this helps, Dr. Jim
Cheers,
..
..